Proverbs for Christian Blogging: Be Slow to Speak

“…let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger…”

The internet is not very conducive to obeying this command. When something goes viral it can be very tempting to be one of the voices in the crowd. If something is trending on Twitter all I have to do is write an article and put a # sign in there and immediately my blog will get an upswing in traffic.

Furthermore, there is a constant stream of vast amounts of material—most of it needing rebuked. Some things actually need a response. Most things only make us think that they need a response.

In the midst of all the noise God says to the Christian blogger, “let every [blogger] be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow and anger…”

Quick to Hear

To be “quick to hear” means to rapidly pursue listening. It means chewing on what another person has said. True hearing requires understanding—or at least an attempt to truly understand. If I cannot fairly represent what was just said then I have not truly listened to you.

Think about how this relates to the ridiculousness of many comment streams. A good host of the comments are taken up by those that did not truly hear the piece that was written. Then people respond (without truly hearing) to the dude that just commented after failing to hear the original piece.

My how the Christian slice of the internet would change if we lived out our redemption in this area!

Slow to Speak*

Most of us assume understanding. That’s why we start nodding our heads in agreement (or shaking our fists in disagreement) when the speaker is only a few words into his speech. Once we start nodding (or seething) we start formulating our own response. The internet is no different. We read a title, factor in the author, read a couple of lines and then assume that we know his/her argument.

To truly be slow to speak means that even though everything within us is crying out “Write a response to this dummy”, we intentionally slow ourselves down. Go ahead and type out of a rough draft. Get it all out. Throw it all up on your paper.

Then throw it away.

After you rewrite the article let it sit there for awhile. And as it sits there ask yourself with it really needs to be said. Can it wait a day? Can it wait a week? The more it sits the more you are able to choose your words more intentionally.

Slow to Anger

This fits with being slow to speak. Anger makes us want to give a quick response. It’s always a good idea to let a response post sit for time. You don’t have to give a quick response. Angry responses are usually quick responses. Save your anger for that which truly should evoke anger and not those sinful outbursts that we like to excuse as “righteous indignation”.

Listen, I understand the rules of the internet. I know that it moves really fast. I know that if you’ve written a really good and angry piece on the relationship between sin, #GaryColeman, #JustinBieber, and #KellogsCornFlakes, you need to get that bad boy out there before those dudes stop trending. I also know that you need to respond quickly in order to be seen as relevant. So…

I hear you.

I simply refuse to play by the rules if the rules are sin-inducing. I’d rather be irrelevant and holy than relevant and rebellious. James 1:21 is clear, blog accordingly.

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*It’s important to note that I am not advocating never posting a response to something that happens in that day. We just need to be wise in how we do it. It should be the exception and not the rule.

James 2:1-7 and Social Media

My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory. For if a man wearing a gold ring and fine clothing comes into your assembly, and a poor man in shabby clothing also comes in, and if you pay attention to the one who wears the fine clothing and say, “You sit here in a good place,” while you say to the poor man, “You stand over there,” or, “Sit down at my feet,” have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts? Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him? But you have dishonored the poor man.   (James 2:1-6 ESV)

I  imagine if James 2:1-6 were updated to reflect social media it would read something like this:

“My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.  For if a man with 10,000 Twitter followers and a couple of books published decides to follow you and Twitter, and a poor chap with only his mom and grandma following him also decides to follow, and if you pay attention to the chap with 10,000 followers and say, “Thanks for the follow.  You are amazing.  Check out all my stuff and be sure to retweet how awesome I am to your followers”, while you say to the lonely guy…well nothing really (why would you talk to this dude?)…have you not then made distinctions among yourselves and become judges with evil thoughts?  Listen, my beloved brothers, has not God chosen those who are poor in the world to be rich in faith and heirs of the kingdom, which he has promised to those who love him?  But you have dishonored the poor man.”

The problem in James 2 (both then and today) is that when you start focusing on the rich man you change your message to suit the rich guy and let the poor guy starve.  You start trying to feed the ones that do not need it so that you can convince yourself that you’re more important than you actually are.  If you’re writing, tweeting, and doing the book Face for the glory of God then your aim is to feed hungry souls the life-giving truths of God. 

If God happens to expand your influence through a guy or gal with more influence than you retweeting your stuff, the goal is still the same—feeding the hungry.  For me this provides a test for my heart and to decide if I’m writing for the correct reasons. 

Am I just as excited when Roger the Shrubber (with all of his six followers) decides to subscribe as I am when Tim the Enchanter (with all 10000 of his followers) does?  If I am more excited about the Enchanter following me is that because it will feed more hungry people?  Or because it will feed my gluttonous ego? 

If your conscience convicts you and you’ve been showing partiality, the answer probably isn’t to quit writing.  It’s probably to repent and get back to working for the right reasons.

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This isn’t a one-to-one comparison because many of those that are “rich” in social media are that way because they are faithful to the gospel and the Lord extends their influence as a means of spreading His glory.  That is why I did not quote verse 7.  I’m trying here to get at the heart issue of the one that shows partiality and not make a comment on those that might be wrongly/rightly honored.

“Quick to Pastor, Slow to Speak”

Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger…

…unless you are a pastor. 

I wonder how many dear souls have been wounded by a pastor that is slow to hear and therefore also quick to speak and usually quick to anger.  More personally, I wonder how many dear souls that I have wounded by quick counsel. 

Quick counsel is easy to do.  Most people have the same types of problems and therefore it is tempting to offer simple cookie-cutter solutions.  I know that at times I have been guilty of throwing a few Bible verses at the heart of a weary saint (or perhaps some Christian platitudes). 

Thankfully (for myself and others) I am growing.  I have gotten better at following James’ admonishment to engage in active listening before I assume that I know how to speak.  Here are 4 things that I have tried to do to slow myself down and make sure that I am quick to listen and slow to speak:

1. Try to rephrase and repeat what I believe they are saying.  “Is this what you are saying”?  This helps me know that I do truly understand (in as much as I can) what the other person is going through and what they are communicating.
2. Try to defend their position.  This is especially helpful in a lively debate or discussion.  If I am able to accurately defend a persons position, or define it in such a way that they could say, “yes, this is absolutely what I am saying”, then I know that I am in a position to understand and hopefully speak truth.
3. Maybe I am the idiot.  If I am think that something has a really simple solution it could be possible that I am the simpleton and not the person struggling.
4. Don’t assume my assessment and counsel is helpful or communicating effectively.  “Is this helpful?  Does this apply to what you are saying”? etc.  I can spend 15 minute rambling about something that doesn’t actually apply in this situation.  It’d be like a doctor spending an hour before emergency surgery prepping a machine that he does not need to use. 
5. Try to look through the words to the heart.  The heart is the battlefield.  Sometimes the way people phrase things exposes a misunderstanding in the gospel, character of God, view of themselves, etc.  Rather than trying to correct the “way” that somebody says something I try to listen for the heart’s speech. 

When I am counseling someone I try to apply these things.  It may make the counseling session a tad longer—but hopefully more fruitful.  For the busy pastor it is probably beneficial to spend an hour once or twice than it is to spend 15 minutes 40 times. 

Consider these words from Mike Emlet as well:

Dr. Mike Emlet - On mistakes we can make using Scripture in advice giving. from CCEF on Vimeo.  (HT: Dane Ortlund)

Excuse Me, I Need To Let You Know How Awesome I Am

(HT: 22 Words)

If you have spent any time in college or grad school you know “that guy” from class.  If you don’t know that guy from class there may be a good chance that you are him. 

I’m pretty sure that this dude is probably a blogger too.  At least he likes to leave comments on those blogs that still draw a good amount of comments.  Homeboy likes to hear himself speak (and he likes to read what he types). 

“Who has wisdom and understanding among you?” 

This guy, of course. 

And he will not stop until everybody knows that he is the one with wisdom and understanding.  If somebody else in class or in the comment thread makes a good point, “that guy” will have to one-up.  Or at least he’ll find the one minor thing that could potentially have a minor problem in its application 50 years from now.  After all, it must be shown that everyone else is a twit. 

What happens when a merry band of “that guys” get together?  You have yourself a blog community.  Each driven by bitter jealousy and selfish ambition.  This community will eventually be marked by disorder and given enough time will morph into every vile practice. 

Not so the wisdom that is from above.  Godly wisdom is meek.  Godly wisdom is more passionate about seeing Jesus’ name in lights than your own.  Godly wisdom wants to lift up brothers and sisters.  It fights for peace rather than the need to be right.  And because of this godly wisdom can be reasoned with.  You see godly wisdom every time a person admits his/her faults.  Godly wisdom is heard saying, “you know I could be wrong about this”, but at the same time is very gentle and firm on the truth. 

“That guy” isn’t funny.  He’s not cute.  He’s dangerous.  His “wisdom” is earthly, unspiritual, and demonic.  And that truth hits me hard, because I have to constantly fight a tendency to be “that guy”.  “That guy” makes me sick, because I see the ugliness of my own self-infatuated heart therein. 

Thankfully Jesus came to rescue and redeem my self-infatuated heart and woo it with His much greater beauty.  Through his grace he conquers us with His brilliance and shames our sad displays of “wisdom and understanding”.  Christ is calling the “that-guys” of the world to put down their hands, stop trying to show off, and find their sufficiency in His awesomeness.