How Jonathan Edwards Wrecked My Soul

That title is misleading. It needs to be more Edwardsean to be accurate. It should be titled How a Wrong-Headed Application of Jonathan Edwards Has Nearly Made Shipwreck of My Soul. Let me explain.

About seven years ago I read this Resolution of Jonathan Edwards:

5. Resolved, never to lose one moment of time; but improve it the most profitable way I possibly can.

Since that moment I have made it my ambition to not lose one moment of time for the glory of God. I have failed at this on numerous occasions. But one thing you could say about me is that I have been driven. I have been driven to take captive every moment in activity for God.

And it is wrecking my soul. Awe of God has been replaced by activity for God. I’m worn out and my joy in the Lord has faded. Activity for God, and even pursuing knowledge of Him, is not the same as savoring and treasuring Him.

What I failed to see is that Edwards’ prime resolution was this:

1. Resolved, that I will do whatsoever I think to be most to God’s glory, and my own good, profit and pleasure, in the whole of my duration, without any consideration of the time, whether now, or never so many myriad’s of ages hence. Resolved to do whatever I think to be my duty and most for the good and advantage of mankind in general. Resolved to do this, whatever difficulties I meet with, how many and how great soever.

For Edwards he wanted to take every moment captive to drink deeply of God. For me I wanted to take every moment captive to do stuff for God. There is a massive difference.

I wrote this on a notepad yesterday:

Maybe, smelling one rose and actually worshipping would do more for awe in my soul than a whole host of “doing great things for God”.

I’m slowly learning that the way to “improve every moment in the most profitable way I possibly can” is to find joy in God in whatever I am doing at any given moment. Edwards did not mean that we surrender joyous activity—like observing spiders—and get busy with “spiritual things” like Bible reading. What Edwards meant is that while we are doing things, like enjoying spider watching, we pursue joy in God. That’s how you improve a moment.

Last night I ate a bowl of grapes. They were really good. And I thought about how amazing it is that God would fill His creation with such tremendous things like grapes. And so I thanked God for giving us these little treasures. And I worshipped.

I think I’m learning.

Help for the Weary Worshipper

Early on in my walk with Christ I assumed that the only type of worship/devotion that the Lord was pleased with was that which exuberant. I would beat myself up for any worship which wasn’t some sort of absolute surrender. Baby steps of devotion were unacceptable in my mind. After all, this is the King of Glory. How could I give him anything else?

And I was partially correct. But I’ve since come to believe that there is a type of weary worship that is also pleasing to the Lord. John Piper has provided great help to me in this area. In his book, Desiring God, Piper outlines three stages of worship.

The final stage is that which can be described by “unencumbered joy in the manifold perfection of God”. This was the only stage that I formerly acknowledge. But Piper notes the other stages which are also part of my experience. The second stage is when “we often taste, we do not feel fullness but rather longing and desire.”

I believe this is the stage that John Newton describes when he says:

Blessed be his name for a taste, though it be but a taste, of the water of life. I long for fuller [drinks], and I trust he has given me that hungering and thirsting after righteousness, which shall at length be satisfied, and which cannot be satisfied with anything short of his love.

Often I cry out, “Oh! remember me with the favor [you give to your own people]”. I know there are heights and depths in communion with God, to which many of his dear children [experience], which are far beyond my present [experience]. But this rather encourages me; that they too were once as poor as myself, and have nothing now any more than I, that they can call their own; and he who has done so much for them, is rich enough to do as much for me…I desire to praise His name for what he has already shown me, and to hope in his mercy that I shall yet, ‘see greater things than these”.

Yes, there is a type of worship that is in the longing. But there is also a darker type of worship. One that Piper says is “where all genuine worship starts” and that is in “the barrenness of soul that scarcely feels any longing, and yet is still granted the grace of repentant sorrow for having so little love.” Piper continues:

Worship is a way of gladly reflecting back to God the radiance of His worth. This is the ideal…Yet He is also glorified by the spark of anticipated gladness that gives rise to the sorrow we feel when our hearts are lukewarm. Even in the miserable guilt we feel over our beastlike insensitivity, the glory of God shines. If God were not gloriously desirable, why would we feel sorrowful for not feasting fully on His beauty? (97)

Something wonderful often happens when I find myself in this dark season and meditate on the truth that God accepts my brokenness and repentance for not being emotionally broken. My heart starts to come alive a little. I start to bask in His goodness for accepting such a miserable follower. And I slowly rise to that second stage of worship and cry out, “more Lord Jesus, more!” Occasionally he’ll answer with what Newton called “one single glance of his love” and before I know it I’m in passionately worshipping.

It’s comforting to know that no matter where this weary worshipper finds himself the loving embrace of Jesus is right there. That’s enough to cause me to drop the “weary” and just worship.

A Marriage God Hates

    “When you come to appear before me,
        who has required of you
        this trampling of my courts?
    Bring no more vain offerings;
        incense is an abomination to me.
    New moon and Sabbath and the calling of convocations—
        I cannot endure iniquity and solemn assembly.
    Your new moons and your appointed feasts
        my soul hates;
    they have become a burden to me;
        I am weary of bearing them.
    When you spread out your hands,
        I will hide my eyes from you;
    even though you make many prayers,
        I will not listen;
        your hands are full of blood.
(Isaiah 1:12-15 ESV)

The Lord created marriage.  He loves marriage.  Yet, there is a marriage that the Lord abhors; the marriage of Mr. Iniquity and Ms. Solemn-Assembly.  The Lord cannot endure such a union.  Apart from the hypocrisy and insult of the thing one reason the Lord hates such a union is because of what it does to both parties involved.  It deceives and destroys Mr. Iniquity and it ruins Ms. Solemn-Assembly

The human heart has a tremendous way of deceiving itself.  Worse yet the human heart will go to great lengths to self-justify and perpetuate this blindness.  That seems to be what is happening with the people spoken of here in Isaiah 1.  They are hiding behind their religiosity and refusing to repent.  They are using their religious rituals to convince their deceived hearts that they are doing their part. 

I have been awakened to this sick cycle in my own life.  As a believer, whenever I sin the Spirit of God graciously convicts me of it.  The aim of His conviction is that I would take my sin and accompanying guilt and shame to Christ and find restoration.  Yet, at times I do the opposite.  When convicted I run away from the work of Christ and go through a rigorous process of self-atonement.  The deceptiveness of sin encourages me to wear the fig leaves of religiosity to cover my guilt. 

Yet in all my religiosity sin continues to rot away at my soul.  But from the outside and even to my own deceived eyes I am doing everything I need to do to rid myself of this feeling of guilt.  I’m going to church.  I’m reading Scripture.  I’m giving away possessions.  I’m doing ministry.  I’m passionately singing worship songs.  I’m studying.  I’m writing.  I’m praying.  I’m pleading with the Lord.  I’m doing everything I can…

Almost. 

It is in this almost that we discover one of the reasons the Lord hates the marriage of solemn assembly and iniquity.  This marriage allows Mr. Iniquity to hide behind the beauty of his bride.  At the end of the day Mr. Iniquity enters into false rest because he thinks that he has married his savior.  So he never deals with the reality of his family name.    

Eventually Ms. Solemn Assembly turns into Mrs. Iniquity.  Their union gives birth to Hypocrisy, Apathy, Pride, and eventually Despair.  After a period of time Mr. Iniquity decides that Ms. Solemn Assembly is not working out for him.  She hasn’t helped him.  He’s still feeling the pain of his family name and his deceit causes him to blame his bride. 

It’s not her fault.  She cannot flourish unless she is married to Mr. Repentance.  Until Mr. Iniquity surrenders his pride and his identity and becomes Mr. Repentance he will never find healing and redemption.  Yet he keeps trying and trying and trying and wondering why his marriage to Ms. Solemn Assembly is not working.  All the while the problem lies in him. 

And this is why the Lord hates this marriage.  Solemn Assembly has stunning and breathtaking beauty.  She is meant to lead people to awe and wonder at Her Maker.  Yet, she only flourishes when she is married to Mr. Repentance.  Anything else will tarnish her beauty and cause her to merely be used as a cover and a shield.  She is not created to bear such a load. 

Brothers and sisters, if sin is the problem the only cure is repentance.  You cannot marry yourself to solemn assembly and hope that somehow your religiosity will cover your shame and take away the rotting effect of sin.  She cannot do that.  She is meant for basking not for covering up.  You haven’t “tried everything” until you’ve engaged in heartfelt repentance. 

Mr. Iniquity don’t blame your failed marriage on Ms. Solemn Assembly.  Blame it on your family name.  Humble yourself and get a new name; Mr. Repentance.  You’ve got a very merciful Judge that shed His own blood to secure that new name. 

Thereness

Psalm 105:4 says, “Seek the LORD and his strength; seek his presence continually!”  I was trying to chew on that last phrase for a little while today.  I thought about how it relates to God’s omnipresence.  How do I seek his presence?  It’s not like there is ever a spot where He is not and that Psalm 105 is telling me that I need to play hide and seek and find my Lord behind a bush somewhere.  No, I’m not to seek knowledge of His omnipresence. 

This text is telling me to seek His good presence.  His favor.  His countenance.  It’s telling me to be like my children as they demand my presence.  “Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!  Look!  Look!  Do you like my book I made?”

My son, Isaiah, is in a drawing and cutting things out of a notebook phase.  He also found our stapler the other day and is in the business of “makin’ books”.  He’ll staple together a few pages, write a couple of the words that he knows how to spell, and then squiggly lines for the rest.  But the book isn’t complete until daddy “reads” it.  He is seeking my presence, my approval, my thereness. 

That is what Psalm 105:4 is calling us to do continually.  Psalm 105 is calling us to tug on the Lord’s robe and say, “hey daddy, dad, daddy, dad, hey dad!  Do you like my drawing?”  Such a heart is precious.  It refuses to be satisfied until the object of its affection is present in complete thereness.  That snowflake that you cut out isn’t complete in its awesomeness until its also enjoyed by daddy. 

Christ makes the presence of the LORD our delight.  Though he is mighty beyond description and “no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes to whom we must give account”, even still because of Christ we are able to “with confidence draw near to the throne of grace”.  His thereness is no longer a terror, it’s a joy. 

---

Of course there is also the other side to this that as we continually seek the presence of the LORD we become less concerned about our awesome snowflakes and more concerned with joining daddy in what He is doing.  But I needed to really meditate on this side of presence of the Lord today. 

Should You Bring Your Bag’s To Church Tomorrow?

I’ve said it, and prayed it, quite a few times.  Yesterday, I caught myself.  “Lord, please allow us to drop all of our burdens at the door and come and freely worship you.”  I know what we mean when we pray that.  We want to come to the Lord empty handed and not be distracted by a bunch of junk.  We do not want to be thinking about meatloaf instead of meditating on our marvelous Maker.  But do we really want to lay all of our burdens at the door?

This way of thinking tends to contradict what Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30:
 

28 Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

Perhaps Jesus does not want us to “drop all of our burdens at the door”.  Perhaps our act of worship is to come heavy but to leave light.  Jesus does not want you to drop reality and real life at the door, sing a few songs, hear a sermon, and then pick all of your baggage up on your way out.  Jesus wants you to “cast all your anxiety upon him.”

I am becoming convinced that Jesus really did come to call sinners.  Powerful worship does not happen when clean, put-together people, offer “service” to the Lord.  Powerful worship happens when dirty, broken, sinners find the answer to their brokenness.  Or perhaps we could say that powerful worship happens when clean, put-together people, praise the Lord that brought them out of the miry clay.  Whether you are broken or healed the Lord desires a heart that does not pretend it’s living in Eden; but rather a heart that knows it is not where it is meant to be and is found longing for rescue.

So, tomorrow when you arrive at your church building to worship bring all of your baggage…but don’t leave with it.

--

Originally posted here. 

Monday’s Ministry Musing: Do We Have a Place for Lament?

…the language of lamented is seriously neglected in the church.  Many Christians seem to feel that somehow it can’t be right to complain to God in the context of corporate worship when we should all feel happy.  There is an implicit pressure to stifle our real feelings because we are urged, by pious merchants of emotional denial, that we ought to have “faith” (as if the moaning psalmists didn’t).  So we end up giving external voice to pretended emotions we do not really feel, while hiding the real emotions we are struggling with deep inside.  Going to worship can become an exercise in pretence and concealment, neither of which can possibly be conducive for a real encounter with God.  So, in reaction to some appalling disaster or tragedy, rather than cry out our true feelings to God, we prefer other ways of responding to it.  --(Christopher J.H. Wright, The God I Don’t Understand, 52)

When you consider that almost half of the Psalms are songs of lament, I think Wright may be on to something.  Is there a place for lament, complaining, questions, longing, etc. in our churches?  Or are these to be stuffed down and dropped off at the door so we can engage in" “worship”? 

Is it possible that the Lord does not want us to leave our baggage at the door but instead to bring it into the sanctuary and offer it up—jaded questions, hopeful discontent, broken longing, indeed every range of emotion—in lament to the Lord of glory? 

Of course this doesn’t mean that we always come with lament.  Sometimes we come with thanksgiving.  Sometimes we come with exuberant joy. Often we come with a mixture of all of these.  But does your church have a place for nearly half of the Psalms?  Or do we only corporately engage in the “happy” ones? 

The GCR. A Car Without Fuel?

The 2010 messengers of the Southern Baptist Convention voted on moving towards a Great Commission Resurgence.  I happily voted for the GCR because I am passionate about seeing the gospel spread to the nations.  (Although, I am certain that my passion should/could increase all the more). 

As excited as I am to see a Great Commission Resurgence I wonder if maybe we should call it something else—or perhaps change it’s emphasis.  Biblically, I see something else motivating Paul’s mission—and honestly something that undergirds Jesus’ Great Commission. 

I am beginning to study Romans (and am anxiously awaiting my first day of class with Dr. Schreiner to go through this letter).  Today, I began by studying the first 7 verses.  Notice verse 5:

[5] through whom we have received grace and apostleship to bring about the obedience of faith for the sake of his name among all the nations, (Romans 1:5 ESV)

Paul is saying that he has gracious received his apostleship (in other words his salvation and calling to ministry were by grace).  The purpose of this gift—or the purpose of Paul’s ministry—is to bring about the obedience of faith.  This is either saying the obedience that springs from faith or the obedience that is faith.  Either way, notice the purpose; “for the sake of his name among all the nations”.  What is the motivation for missions?  That Jesus may be praised. 

To this end Dr. Schreiner quotes John Stott:

“the highest of missionary motives is neither obedience to the Great Commission (important as that is), nor love for sinners who are alienated and perishing (strong as that incentive is, especially when we contemplate the wrath of God, verse 18), but rather zeal—burning and passionate zeal—for the glory of Jesus Christ.”

So perhaps what we need prior to a Great Commission Resurgence is a Great Commandment Resurgence.  If worship (passionate love for God) is the fuel of missions, a Great Commission Resurgence without a prior Great Commandment  Resurgence will be like a souped-up car that doesn’t have any fuel.  It looks nice, it has potential, and might win the acclaim of on-lookers but it won’t get you to the grocery store. 

As I look at many of the great missionaries of the past, and even those today (like David Platt) what inspires them is a deep love for Christ and an abiding belief that Jesus deserves the praise of the nations.  The missionary heart lives these sentiments of John Piper:

But worship is also the fuel of missions. Passion for God in worship precedes the offer of God in preaching. You can’t commend what you don’t cherish. Missionaries will never call out, “Let the nations be glad!” who cannot say from the heart, “I rejoice in the Lord...I will be glad and exult in thee, I will sing praise to thy name, O Most High” (Ps 104:34, 9:2). Missions begins and ends in worship. 

(Piper, Let the Nations be Glad)

So while we are encouraging our churches to be actively involved in mission we had better be equally intentional about providing them fuel. 

The Most Important “Element” of a Worship Service

“What any people must have is the presence of the living God.  It is not enough in any church simply to have the right rituals and the right sermons and the right kind of music.  If God does not manifest himself in some way, if he is not present, then what is the point of the whole exercise?  Is religion merely some sort of structured ritual heritage?  Or is it bound up with being reconciled to the God who made us, who holds us to account?”  (D.A. Carson, The God Who is There, 67)

Yes.  Amen and Amen.  Makes me wonder why we have such a disproportionate amount of time spent in prayer.  

If God doesn’t “manifest himself in some way” it would have probably been better for our people to have stayed home and watched Hee-Haw.  May this encourage me, as a pastor, to have absolute dependence upon the Lord. 

The Vapid Wasteland of Contemporary Worship Songs?

Yesterday Christianity Today posted a question to stir up some discussion:  Should churches ban Christmas carols with questionable theology?  The title of the post brings up some fond memories for me: Away with ‘Away in a Manger’? 

The discussion has been thoughtful at times, but what I found really interesting is the myriad of comments like these:

Hahaha- what a nonsensical article. What they should do away with are all those evangelical songs that focus like a laser on ME ME ME. Oh Jesus, I feel this, and my life has changed, I'm a better person, blah, blah, blah.

I wouldn't mind passing on the questionable lyrics in "Away in a Manger", provided that we also take a harder look at the theological mush that often passes as Sunday morning worship lyrics throughout the rest of the year.

Maybe we should go the praise-chorus route and only sing songs so utterly devoid of meaning that no one could possibly be offended.

So much (not all) of the current contemporary worship music is junk – literal, theological, musical, overly repetitive, shallow junk. Why not start cleaning the Lord’s House from some of those first.

There is one sense in which I agree with some of these comments.  We should take a hard look at many of the lyrics in the things that we sing.  But where I disagree is in saying that this is only the “praise-chorus” songs.  There are just as many beloved and precious hymns that are theologically vapid. 

And such blanket statements about contemporary worship music is irresponsible.  I’ll take many of my Crowder and Tomlin songs over Fanny Crosby’s Keswick-laced songs any day.

I say the solution is to not give any genre of music a free pass, nor to demonize any genre, but to consider how all of them stack up theologically.  Of course, it is also wise to consider the medium as well; leaving room for poetic license and not being a stubborn doctrinal Pharisee. 

Thoughts?

O Great God! from T4G

This is one of the songs from T4G that has remained stuck in my head:

T4G2010 -- O Great God from Together for the Gospel (T4G) on Vimeo.

 

You can find the lyrics and back story here. 

Making Worship Comprehensible to Unbelievers

I have a confession to make. I've never really read much of anything by Tim Keller. I know he's one of the elite. I know I should read his stuff. I just haven't. At least not much. Until tonight. I dedicated time to my first article by Keller. You can read it here. It discusses Evangelistic Worship. One of Keller's points is that we ought to make our worship service comprehensible to the unbeliever. Here are his seven sub-points on how we make the worship service comprehensible:

1. Worship and preaching ought to be in the "vernacular"
2. Explain the service as you go along
3. Directly address and welcome unbelievers
4. Have quality aesthetics
5. Celebrate deeds of mercy and justice
6. Present the sacraments so as to make the gospel clear
7. Preach grace

What do you think? Be certain to read the article, focus on page 4-10. Is it necessary to preach in the vernacular? Ought we change words like propitiation, to make them more "clear"? Are quality aesthetics necessary? Is this trying to be too smooth? Should the church toot her own horn, for unbelievers? Is this not letting our deeds be known before men? Are the sacraments for unbelievers, believers, or both? How will we edify the body if we "preach grace" every Sunday? Don't we need to move on from these elementary things?
I am pretty certain that I know what I believe on these issues. I am interested, though, to learn what you think? Is Keller on target? Should we even make the worship "comprehensible" for unbelievers? Isn't the service for the believer and God?

Borrowed Light: Today in Blogworld 12/21

I think my fellow bloggers have taken off early for the Christmas season. Today is another slow day.

John Piper reminds us that today is the 200th anniversary of John Newton's death. If you want to read Piper's biography on Newton you can do so here, or you can buy Josiah Bull's excellent work The Life of John Newton, or if you are feeling really saucy you can buy his Complete Works for only $127. You can read his letters for free at Grace Gems and his Olney Hymns for free at CCEL. Ever minute and every dollar you spend getting to know this man of God is well spent.

Old Truth sounds like John Piper today: Worship, Not Evangelism, The Most Important Task. Piper says that Missions exists because worship does not. This article echoes that sentiment as it points us to a quote from Robert Reymond's New Systematic Theology. His central thesis is this: For decades now evangelical churches have been conducting their services for the sake of unbelievers. Both the revivalistic service of a previous generation and the "seeker service" of today are shaped by the same concern--appeal to the unchurched. Not surprisingly, in neither case does much that might be called worship by Christians occur. As a result, many evangelicals who have been sitting for years in such worship services are finding their souls drying up, and they have begun to long for something else.

Yesterday it was announced that Alex and Bret Harris will be releasing their new book, Do Hard Things, in April. Right now it is retailing for 16.99. I am hoping it is discounted quickly, I would love to do a small group on this book in youth group! (HT: JT)

Burroughs--God Did It!

Today will be short yet piercing. Burroughs point is simple, "the soul that has learned this lesson of contentment looks up to God in all things." Simply put the soul that is contented does not set his praises towards man or any such instrument for securing his hope. The soul that is content looks only to God and rests in His sovereignty and goodness.

This section is marking the difference between being comforted by the things of God and by God Himself. I fear that in my own life I look to the books on my shelf faster than to I look to Jesus. It is one thing to admire these great men and women of God. It is quite another for them to become sacred substitutes. One of the things that I love about such men as John Piper, Jonathan Edwards, John Owen, Charles Spurgeon, Robert Murray McCheyne, among a host of others, is that they point me to Jesus and cause me to hunger for Christ and His Word. Yet, I am guilty of stopping there. I should again resolve to be as Andrew Bonar who, 1) would not speak to any man before speaking to Jesus 2) would not do anything with his hands until he had been on his knees 3) not to read the papers (internet news/blogs/etc. for us) until he had read his Bible.

I understand that Burroughs is primarily talking about what the believer does in affliction. I would like to think that after coming through an affliction I would not be so thoughtless as to bow my knees and thank the folks at Desiring God for publishing The Suffering and the Sovereignty of God. In fact I think it is right to bow our knee and thank God for such men and women. But the issue is this, am I thanking God and only God (whatever means he uses) or is their a spot of unhealthy adoration in my heart for His instruments? Knowing that my heart is prone to idolatry I would not doubt that I exalt even such men to a place of unhealthy adoration. May the Lord break us of our pride and our idolatry!