7 Reasons Preachers Should Spend Time Preaching to Teenagers

I have been preaching to teenagers for about ten years now. Truthfully, I’m probably more suited to teaching/preaching to adults that teens. I am not your typical youth pastor. But I love teens and I love preaching the gospel to them. I believe that my time spent with teenagers helps me to better preach to adults*.

Here are seven reasons why preachers should spend some time preaching to teenagers:

1. It forces simplicity. In sermon prep I constantly ask myself if I can say something more simply. This helps me to give any audience the fruit of my labor and not the sweat.
2. It helps with illustrations. I am terrible at illustrations. Working with teenagers has helped me to only be terrible and not abysmal.
3. It prepares me for questions. Teens will ask silly questions. And teens will ask amazing questions. I consider inquisitive teenagers with every sermon I preach.
4. It keeps me from assuming an audience. It has been said that people do not care how much you know until they know how much you care. This is very true with teenagers. You have to win their hearts before their ears. I never assume that I have an audience and this forces me to spend time thinking about a “hook” every week.
5. It forces focus. When preaching through a difficult passage of Scripture it can be tempting to get lost in all the debates. Preaching to youth reminds me to focus on what really matters and save the intellectual debates for scholars.
6. It is fun. When teenagers know that you love them they are quick to listen. Their questions and their vigor makes for a ton of fun.
7. They respond and often awkwardly. Teenagers will often immediately respond to a sermon. And they often respond awkwardly. This forces me to be intentional in the way that I aim for response. I don’t ever assume that they will apply the sermon in a fitting way.

I would encourage every preacher of the gospel to spend some time preaching to teenagers—at least a few times every year. Few things will hone your preaching skills like ministering to teens.

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*I want to say here that I do not—nor have I ever—viewed ministering to teenagers as a stepping stone to the “big show”. If you view preaching to teens as merely a means to an end they will see right through it, and frankly such a view is dishonoring to Jesus. Having said that, preaching to teens is great preparation for preaching to adults.

How Does a Teenager Share the Gospel with Her Unbelieving Parents?

One of the greatest joys (and at times pains) of working with teenagers is whenever students with unbelieving parents come to know Jesus. After only a short time of becoming followers of Jesus, these dear students begin aching for the lostness of their parents. And so they share the gospel with them.

And it gets really ugly.

The gospel is an offense. Period. But it’s perhaps even more of an offense when your arrogant 15 year old is telling her mom how wrong she is about life, the Bible, and her eternal soul. To her this new found “knowledge” doesn’t feel much different than her daughter trying to set her straight in a million other areas in life.

That’s when I get a teenager at my house at 12:30am because she’s convinced that her mom and dad aregoing to hell because they reject the gospel. My heart is grieved for this student. No matter how hard she tries she cannot get her mom to come to know Jesus. She wants to give eternal life to the one that gave her physical life. And so she weeps because mom and dad only gets angry with her when he shares the gospel.

So, how should a teenager share the gospel with her unbelieving parents?

If I am reading my Bible correctly faithful gospel proclamation includes both our life and our lips. It must be spoken (Romans 10) and it must be lived (1 Timothy 4). But that doesn’t have to mean that those two need to be totally balanced.

If you are on a mission trip to the Honduras and you will only see these people for about 10-15 minutes then it probably needs to look like this:

Your lifespan before these people is about as long as a moth in a refrigerator. It isn’t going to last very long. So while you can do little things in that 10-15 minutes to show the gospel, a larger portion of your time ought to be spent in speaking the gospel.

For a teenager it probably needs to look like this:

That means that you share the gospel more with your life and slide the proclamation in there whenever you can. Joyously doing chores might do more for your parents seeing Christ than you sharing John 3:16. That’s not to demean a teenager sharing Jesus from John 3:16. That is necessary and it needs to be done. But for a teenager your changed life will speak far louder than your new found theological words.

So, how does a teenager share the gospel with her unbelieving parents?

Joyously take out the trash in Jesus’ name.

Suggested Resources For Family Ministry

I recently had a dear friend ask me to give him a few resources for implementing a family ministry structure in the church that he pastors. I thought that perhaps others might benefit from the list I provided.

Conceptual:

“Our church wants to begin doing family ministry”. That sentence can mean any number of things. The people in your church probably have differing ideas as to what actually constitutes family ministry. That is why you need to have a season where everyone gets on the same page as to what family ministry actually consists of. The most helpful book for doing this is 3 Views of Family Ministry edited by Timothy Paul Jones from the Perspectives Series. (Read my review here).

Though I ultimately embrace a different model, one book that will need to be considered is Voddie Baucham’s Family Driven Faith. Here he makes a strong case for the necessity of family ministry. I prefer the Family-Equipping model and so I believe that Baucham overstates a few things. However, this is a valuable resource in showing the need for doing family ministry.

Another helpful book is Trained in the Fear of God edited by Timothy Paul Jones and Randy Stinson. This books gives theological, historical, and practical reasons for installing a family-equipping ministry model.

Implementation:

If you have everyone on the same page as to what actually constitutes family ministry, and you everyone decides that the family-equipping model is the best option then you will need to figure out how to implement a family ministry strategy. There is no better book for doing this (from a family-equipping perspective) than The Family Ministry Field Guide by Timothy Paul Jones.

Another helpful resource, though honestly I think you only need Jones’ book, is The Family-Friendly Church by Freudenburg and Lawrence. This book will serve as somewhat of a vision casting book. You will see here what other churches are doing to help equip families for a “home-based, church-supported ministry”.

Day to Day:

You’ve got your family ministry up and running. Now what? Here are a few books that I have found helpful in the day to day operations of family ministry:

Age of Opportunity by Paul David Tripp (excellent resource for parents of teens)
Family Shepherds by Voddie Baucham (excellent resource for dads especially)
A Parent Privilege by Steve Wright (great reminder of the privilege of parents)
Give Them Grace by Elyse Fitzpatrick (read my review)

SBTS

I am probably biased on this point. Forgive me. But I do think I am correct. SBTS seems to me to be leading out in the field of family-equipping ministry, thanks in part to the leadership of Timothy Paul Jones. I say this to say keep your eyes open for things coming from SBTS in this field. They are usually pretty high quality and cutting edge in this relatively new perspective on family ministry. One particular resource that you need to subscribe to is Family Ministry Today. This journal will help make you aware of new books in the field of family-equipping ministry as well as various issues that you might have.

Furthermore, I have found the folks at SBTS to be very accessible to the local church. If you have questions that arise during your implementation of family ministry contact the school.

Bottom Line:

If you are lost in all of these suggestions and you really only want to get 1 book get The Family Ministry Field Guide. If you can get two then add the Perspectives book. And be sure to keep an eye on the Family Ministry Today site.

Would Jesus Have a Lock-In?

As an associate pastor that works with teenagers every few months I am forced by begging teenagers to endure another lock-in.  In case you are not familiar with a lock-in it’s a horrible concept for adult leaders.  You are trapped in a room with teenagers for around 12 hours during a time when even roosters and my grandmother would be sleeping.  During this twelve hours you hang out with teens, play games, chat, eat lots of pizza, and drink lots of Mountain Dew, and usually break something. 

I loved them when I first began helping out with youth groups.  I started loving them a little less when I became responsible for what they broke.  Now that I’m thirty and have two little children of my own, I must humbly confess that I’d rather be sleeping than playing GROG at 3:30 in the morning. 

WWJD?

As I am finishing up the details for tonight’s lock-in I find myself wondering whether or not Jesus would have a lock-in.  I know that in the first century it would have just been weird to have gathered with a group of young adults (there weren’t teenagers back then) to play hide and seek in the dark.  And part of me wants to say that isn’t there more taxing matter that Jesus would have concerned himself with?  Would he really have played chubby bunny with a group of poorly showered seventh grade boys? 

But as I think through it a little more I think maybe Jesus would have led a lock-in for teenagers.  Having fun is part of being human.  It appears from the Pharisees accusation against him that Jesus was not against a good party.  From reading his parables and such one gets the idea that Jesus was quite enjoyable to be around.  Perhaps some would consider this sacrilegious but I could almost picture Jesus playing that game where you put Alka-seltzer in your mouth and watch it fizz all over the place. 

On the other hand I don’t really see Jesus doing a ton of things “just to be cool” and to show teenagers that church can be fun.  I don’t really see Jesus being jovial for the sake of being jovial.  Part of me wants to say that a lock-in would be way beneath Jesus and he’d be having a 30-hour famine instead.  Maybe so. 

Conclusion

Though it is pretty much impossible with questions like these to really say “what Jesus would do”, I have come to the conclusion that he would lead a youth lock-in.  Mostly because he loved people.  Lock-ins are a tremendous way to build relationships with teenagers.  Most of these teens are hurting and really need grace. 

What better way to show teenagers that you really care for them than to enter their world a little, have a great time with them, love them, build relationships, and share the love of Christ with them?  Lock-ins are an opportunity to show grace and deepen relationships. 

If the purpose of your lock-in is to get a ton of kids to come to church for the fun of it, slip the gospel in the back door, and grow your program then I don’t know that Jesus would have signed up as a volunteer.  But if your purpose for having a lock-in is to have fun with teenagers, build relationships, give grace, and share the love of Christ then I could really see Jesus joining in on a spam eating contest. 

Am I totally off my rocker here?  What do you think? 

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P.S. I know that chubby bunny is dangerous and a chocking hazard and we don’t play it.  I also don’t play Sardines with teenagers because that is just flat out dumb. 

The Old Man I Want To Be

One generation shall commend your works to another, and shall declare your mighty acts.  -Psalm 145:4

“Damn weather’s going to kill us all!”  

I’m guessing the old crank was just trying to find a way to connect with the young lady behind the counter, but as these words filled my ear lobes I couldn’t help but envision what 15 minutes on a porch with this old chap would entail. 

I imagine it’d be filled with a few shots at either Obama or those stubborn republicans, or maybe a steady dose of vitriol aimed at both.  He’d continue to complain about the weather.  He’d tell me about the good ol’ days and we’d both dream of being able to buy 15 cent cheeseburgers or a tank of gas without sacrificing our children’s college fund.  He’d curse the sky and damn the heat into the fiery abyss and we’d bond on our common lot of futility in a fallen world.  Then I’d wallow off his porch, stoop into my humble car, and drive off in sorrow lamenting everything. 

I don’t want to be that guy.

Not that he doesn’t have a partial truth cornered.  He does.  I’m sure that 15 cent cheeseburgers are better than the $1.00 mystery meat we call McDonalds.  It is hot.  There is an element of futility and brokenness to our world.  He’s right, things aren’t as they ought to be. 

But he’s not totally right.  All of life isn’t lived in a valley. 

“Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable”.  I want to spend 15 minutes (or much longer) on a porch with the guy that says that. 

Partially because he’s the same guy that at one point said, “darkness is my only companion”.  I want to learn how he stares reality in the face, nods his head in agreement with the old moaner, and then opens his lip and infuses every one of those complaints with abounding grace.  This guy gets the whole story.  He goes through the valley but knows that isn’t the whole story. 

The old grumbler only gets the Fall right.  But he has no room for the gospel.  No room for declaring the excellencies of Christ or to commend the works of the Lord to another generation.  I don’t want to be that old man. 

I want to be the old man that can say at one point “darkness is my only companion” but out of the same overflowing heart also say, “Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable”. 

When I find myself in the position of an old man sitting on a porch with an opportunity to declare wonder I don’t want to botch it and say “damn weather’s gonna kill us all”.  I want be able to say “my goodness it’s hot”, and then tell the next generation about a time when I was 30 and it was really hot and we were in the middle of a drought and we gathered at the church for our usual Sunday morning service.  Then I’ll tell how we started the service by praying for rain only to be interrupted by a thundercloud and a downpour of rain.  And I’ll share how I closed off my sermon a little early and we all without provocation gathered around the window and listened to the Lord preach a sermon on His provision in the form of rain on a parched land.

Yeah.  I want to be that old man.  But I know today that I won’t be that old man unless I have my eyes open in my thirties.  If I’m a curmudgeon now my face is sure to grow into one of those perpetual frowns by the time I’m 70.  I’d rather spend my days meditating on “glorious splendor of the Lord’s majesty” and “on His wondrous works”, then when I’m 70 I’ll have plenty to rejoice in with those young whippersnappers. 

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Note: Because that old guy in the photo looks a decent amount like one of my grandfather’s I hold out hope that I can sport such an amazing toothless grin when I’m his age. 

Review of Trained in the Fear of God

There is a classic story (that probably has Jewish roots) about a new bride that is cooking her first big dinner for her husband.  She decides to go with a recipe that has stood the test of time; a roast that was passed down to her by her mother, who in turn had learned it from her mother.  Part of the recipe called for cutting off the ends of the roast.  The husband, is astonished by this.  He asks, “why in the world do you cut off the ends of the roast?  That is the best part!”.  Her reply is simple, “That’s the way my mom always made it”. 

Later on in the week the new bride decides to question her mom about this practice of lopping off the ends of the roast.  The mother’s reply is the same as the daughter’s, “that was always the way my mom made it”.  The two curious ladies decide to ask grandma why she cut off the ends of the roast.  She says, “I always cut off the ends of the roast because that is the only way that I could get it to fit in the pan”. 

The point of the story is that generations upon generations can dutifully follow a tradition without even understanding it.  What is worse when ripped from its original intention the new generation’s following of a practice is not only stupid it is also quite unhelpful and maybe even harmful.  What happened with the grandmother and her roast is that she taught the daughter the practice but never explained why she did it.  The daughter then was not able to contextualize the recipe for her own setting and so she slavishly followed a tradition and handed an unnecessary “must” down to her own daughter.

What is true of a three generations of ladies cooking a roast is just as true of many churches.  There are various practices and strategies that have become a “must” to churches but the historical, theological, and even practical reasons for doing them have not been handed down.   As a result of this oversight churches either neglect to key biblical practices (such as parents discipling their children) or they slavishly follow extrabiblical traditions without really knowing the reason why. 

Summary

Trained in the Fear of God is a book compiled by Timothy Paul Jones and Randy Stinson that aims at providing these historical, theological, and practical reasons for engaging in family-equipping ministry.  Family-equipping ministry is “the process of intentionally and persistently coordinating a congregation’s proclamation and practices so that parents are acknowledged, trained, and held accountable as primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives”.  It’s not a program to be added to your church but a philosophy of doing family ministry that attaches itself to everything the church does. 

This philosophy of ministry is catching on in many churches.  It is the philosophy of youth, student, and family ministry at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary and is quickly spreading to many other institutions.  It is filling a void that is left in many other approaches to family ministry.  As such many churches are adopting it.  With such a spreading one of the dangers is that family-equipping ministry will just become the latest program and two generations from now it will become the next “lopping off the end of the roast” and its theological, historical, and practical foundations will be neglected. 

Trained in the Fear of God is divided into three sections: Biblical and Theological Framework, Historical Foundations, and Practice.  They are not titled that, but that is essentially the way the book is broken up.  There are seventeen different chapters from different contributors (many of them are professors at SBTS).  The reader is encouraged to check out the Table of Contents. 

The book not only makes a compelling case for the necessity of family ministry it also paints a picture of what family ministry looks like in practice.  There are helpful chapters that engage cultural misrepresentations (Al Mohler’s chapter on Homosexuality as an example).  There are chapters that deal with family ministry in various contexts (Kevin Smiths’ chapter on Family Discipleship and the African American Experience).  There is even a chapter on the child’s brain and how family ministry helps to shape the child’s brain.  There is much to offer in these pages.

Should You Buy It?

If you are a church leader you should really consider buying this book.  I am convinced that Family-Equipping Ministry (whatever it looks like in your particular context) is the way that churches need to minister to families.  Every church that buys “how-to” books for moving towards family ministry needs to be certain to also purchase this book.  It will build a foundation that will answer the question of “why” for generations to come. 

If you are a mom or dad you should also buy this book.  It will not only help you to see your valuable role in discipling your children but it will provide helps in doing so.  In places where the book itself does not answer the “how-to” questions it will point you to other resources that will. 

I highly recommend this book.  Also as a little tip I would suggest looking up the Table of Contents and then doing a Google Search for the articles.  You might be surprised what you find while you are waiting to purchase the book. 

You can buy it here.  It’s a little pricy but worth every penny.  Churches need this book as a resource, so do schools, and so do parents. 

Review of Perspectives on Family Ministry 3 Views

I have been doing youth ministry in some form or another for around 10 years.  Through this time I have vacillated between several different philosophies of ministry.  I began as a lone-ranger save the kids from their stupid parents type of mentality.  That view did not last long.  Frankly, either that view had to go or I did.  I’m glad it was the former.  (Well, actually it was both because I did leave my first position as youth pastor during this time). 

After my foray into ministry as the self-proclaimed messiah of students I quickly learned the importance of parents.  I discovered on my own that parents have a more lasting influence on their children than I ever would.  And this was the case whether the parents were the reincarnation of Hitler or the Apostle Paul.  Parents are typically the primary influencers of their children whether for good or ill. 

Once I made this discovery through experience I soon found that it is not only experience that teaches this but Scripture too.  I found myself studying many books on how to minister to the family and the teenagers.  I began trying to implement some of these programs but oddly enough found much resistance.  I knew that things needed to change.  I knew that parents needed to have a vital role but I was not sure what that was supposed to look like. 

Riding in on his white horse was Voddie Baucham and his book Family-Driven Faith.  This was what I was looking for.  This reinforced my growing belief that parents are the primary disciple makers of their children.  But it called for some pretty radical changes.  One of which would eventually be my resignation because apparently I was serving in an unbiblical position as a youth pastor. 

After a little time and reflection on Baucham’s ideas I soon discovered that what Scripture and ministry in our context called for was a hybrid.  I was not sold on a Family-Driven model, but I wasn’t so sure that it should be thrown out either.  We needed something in between. 

I never found it. 

Light at the End of the Tunnel?

That is until last semester at SBTS when I was exposed to the “in-between” of family-equipping ministry.  They are in the beginning stages of working out the very thing that I was trying for the last few years to wrap my mind around.  Some of this discussion is found in Perspectives on Family Ministry, a book I had received free from B & H in exchange for a review.  It was actually required reading for my course on Family Ministry so I waited for the semester was over to review it. 

The first part of this book is written by Timothy Paul Jones and it argues for the necessity of family ministry. Family ministry is defined as:

“The process of intentionally and persistently realigning a congregation’s proclamation and practices so that parents are acknowledge, trained, and held accountable as the persons primarily responsible for the discipleship of their children.”[1]

After exploring the necessity of family ministry Jones briefly summarizes the three most prevalent options for family ministry. He then shows how all three of these have very key things in common; such as the sufficiency of Scripture, a firm belief that God has called parents as the primary disciple-makers, and that the generations need one another and we must reconnect these groups.[2]

The second part of this book is an interaction between Paul Renfro (representing the Family-Integrated Model), Brandon Shields (representing the Family-Based Model), and Jay Strother (representing the Family-Equipping Model). Each model is given about 25 pages to make their case. Then the other two proponents provide brief responses. And finally each section is concluded with a concluding response from the original proponent.

The Family-Integrated Model is explained and defended by Paul Renfro.  This model is very similar to the one that I was exposed to through the writings of Voddie Baucham.  It argues for a “clean break” from age-segregated ministry (55-56).  Every family worships together and there is no “youth group”,  “children’s ministry”, or “preschool ministry” but the entire church is aimed towards promoting active parenting and involving everyone throughout the church calendar. 

The Family-Based Model is explained and defended by Brandon Shields.  This model was probably the first “family ministry” model.  It maintains age-segregation for missional reasons.  Realistically, according to this view, there are many families that are not able to fit into the Family-Integrated Model. They still passionately pursue assisting families in raising their children but they do not find the other models compelling or necessary.

The Family-Equipping Model is, as stated earlier, the hybrid that I was looking for. It is the “in-between” of family-based and family-integrated. They keep age-segregated ministries but find ways to use them to train, involve, and equip parents. Rather than being an additional ministry or an added event on the calendar—the family-equipping model is a philosophy of ministry that shapes the way every ministry within the church relates to families.

Analysis

It is amazing how much Timothy Paul Jones can accomplish within 50 pages defending the need for family ministry. In this four chapter section he aptly argues for the necessity of family ministry while also explaining how we got to where we are today. He then very cordially defines the three groups and sets up the main discussion of the book. It is also very helpful that he admit his leaning towards the family-equipping model.

Each proponent does an adequate job defending their case. And the interaction between these groups is very helpful. I found myself frequently asking questions only to find them addressed later by proponents of the other views. Overall I found Jay Strother’s case the most compelling. In my opinion both Shields and Renfro seem to be interacting mostly with one another and never really giving a compelling reason why Strother’s view is not the most balanaced. Indeed the family-equipping model maintains the benefits of the family-integrated model but is realistic like the family-based model.

The family-integrated model has several positive features to it. They rightly see that “it isn’t necessary to ‘dumb down’ the message nearly as much as our culture claims we must”.[3] To this end they passionately pursue age-integrated ministries. They also rightly see that, “Scripture clearly states that parents should be primary disciple-makers in their children’s lives.”[4] Their emphasis upon the family is certainly commendable.

However, there are a few problems with this model. One is that it really does not seem to be realistic. It may be possible to plant a church like this but I could envision a great difficulty in implementing such a cataclysmic change into a church that has been age-segregated for a good amount of time. Furthermore, Strother is wise in stating that adolescence is a “societal actuality that is probably not going to fade away anytime soon”.[5] God has called us to minister to the culture in 2011 and not 1811. We cannot pretend that this societal phenomenon is not real, regardless of its faulty foundation.

The family-based model also has positive features. They rightly see that age segregation is not necessarily the problem regardless of what those promoting alarmist statistics would like us to believe. The truth is there is some benefit to occasional age-segregation. I also commend their passion for evangelism and attempting to reach the culture.  The church must minister to people where they are instead of where we want them to be; the family-based model seems to get this.

But the family-based model also has its problems. I believe that Strother asks a valid question when he asks, “Does family-based ministry go far enough, in actual practice, in addressing the disconnect between the church and the family?” It does seem that the family-based approach really only adds another program or another arm to an already existing youth ministry. This may be somewhat helpful, but does it go far enough? I tend to agree with Strother that it does not.

The family-equipping model is the one that I prefer. It carries the positives of the others views without the negatives. Rather than being a program addition or a cataclysmic programmatic and structural change, the family-equipping model is a philosophical/theological change that gradually is realized in the structure and programming. They retain some age-segregated ministries but keep the family as a priority with every program.

Honestly it seems that both Renfro and Shields are grasping for critique of this model. Shields’ charge of a lack of sufficient rationale is a weak argument[6]. He must believe in a need for change otherwise there would be no need to adopt a family-based model but simply embrace a programmatic model. Renfro too seems to be grasping for something to disagree with in this model. Again, the greatest benefit of this model is that it takes the both from the family-integrated and family-based models and makes them reproducible and transferable.[7]

This book is not the last one you will want to purchase to consider Family-Equipping Ministry.  In fact it will probably just whet your appetite and convince you to pursue rethinking the way you relate to families within your ministry.  I would consider ordering a copy of Dr. Jones’ upcoming Family Ministry Field Guide.  If you become convinced that Family-Equipping is the way to go then this will help you to implement it into your church. 

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[1] Renfro, 40

[2] Ibid, 46-49

[3] Ibid, 58

[4] Ibid, 63

[5] Ibid, 87

[6] Ibid, 175

[7] Ibid, 183

Isaiah and Hannah, Daddy Was Resurrected

Do your children know your story? 

If I interviewed your children about your relationship with Jesus what would they say?  What would they know? 

Look at what happens if your children don’t know your story:

When Joshua dismissed the people, the people of Israel went each to his inheritance to take possession of the land. And the people served the LORD all the days of Joshua, and all the days of the elders who outlived Joshua, who had seen all the great work that the LORD had done for Israel. And Joshua the son of Nun, the servant of the LORD, died at the age of 110 years. And they buried him within the boundaries of his inheritance in Timnath-heres, in the hill country of Ephraim, north of the mountain of Gaash. And all that generation also were gathered to their fathers. And there arose another generation after them who did not know the LORD or the work that he had done for Israel.   (Judges 2:6-15, emphasis mine)

If you are a believer in Jesus Christ and you have children then you have a Christian family that is charged with the task of raising up another generation to see Jesus Christ as their only boast. 

Wouldn’t you think that God parting a sea would be a story you’d want to tell?  Seriously.  Hollywood decided it was good enough to tell and they told it ala Prince of Egypt.  It is an awesome story.  Wouldn’t you think this would be one of those stories you would want to tell your children and their children?  Nope, not Israel.  They are living in the comfort of the promised land. 

But, Christian mom and Christian dad, you don’t understand…what God has done in your heart is a gazillion times cooler than the parting of the Red Sea.  He brought a dead God-hating heart out of darkness and slavery and breathed new life into it.  Yes, you were raised from the dead.  That’s a pretty cool story, don’t you think? 

And if you don’t share that story then your kids and your grandkids will forget that there is a God that raises the dead.  They won’t know that there is a God that is powerful enough to change the leopard’s spots, to melt the heart of stone, to rescue, to heal, and who is mighty to save.  

So, don’t be like the Israelites in the Promised Land…Enjoy His grace and extend His glory; especially to your own children. 

Quick Review of Posers, Fakers, and Wannabe’s

In an effort to get his grandkids to pay attention to him grandpa decides to get an earring, a tattoo, spikes up his 4 hairs, and trades in his Harry Carey glasses for some square-rimmed Pomo glasses.  He also decides to spend a week watching MTV and consuming everything youth culture so that he can pick up a few buzzwords here and there to go with his flashy new ensemble. 

“NOW, they will listen to my stories”, thinks grandpa.

But here’s the problem: If Grandpa’s stories are still lame a few buzzwords and a new look isn’t going to change anything after about 5 minutes.  They’ll notice but they won’t remember any of grandpa’s stories.  Grandpa can’t be rescued by buzzwords.

What is worse, though, is if grandpa actually does have really cool stories.  What will happen is that rather than hearing grandpa’s cool story all the kids will walk away with is the scarring-image of grandpa’s four spiky hairs.  The story gets lost by the distracting medium.  Grandpa doesn’t need to use buzzwords. 

In Posers=Fakers=Wannabes Jim Hancock has attempted to give Brennan Manning’s best-selling book Abba’s Child a makeover youth edition.  This book falls under the second scenario.  I don’t agree with everything Manning teaches but he is an apt and thought-provoking author.  Brennan Manning is the grandpa that has good stories and doesn’t need buzzwords. 

The problem that I have with this book is that the message is lost because of the medium.  How strange that this book is fundamentally about “being set free to be who you really are” and yet it’s packaged as if Manning isn’t able to be who he truly is.  If he wants to engage the youth culture then he had better be a poser, a faker, or a wannabe; he had better spike his hair and use a few buzzwords.  And that is a shame because the youth of today need to hear Manning’s message. 

Now don’t get me wrong, there is plenty of Manning here to be recognizable.  I may even be overstating my case a tad.  Hancock does not abuse Manning’s writing and make him indiscernible.  The problem though is that today’s teenagers see through the buzzwords and are often turned off by them.  They long for “just grandpa” and not “grandpa trying to be a teenager”. 

The content of Abba’s Child is really good and the central message is very helpful: stop faking it, be real, trust in Jesus.  Every page oozes with that theme.  Again, I’m not saying that this youth version is horrible.  It can be very beneficial.  The problem is that the philosophy that undergirds the change is dangerous.  Rather than rewriting Abba’s Child to make it appeal to teens, why not encourage mom’s and dad’s to go through the original with their children? 

If the point to grandpa’s story is something akin to, “son, be who God made you to be” but he tells it using buzzwords that are foreign to him doesn’t it undercut his message?  I’m all for adaptability and writing and speaking in a way that youth can relate to.  But teens (all people) have a tendency to go to the level we set for them.  Abba’s Child doesn’t need to be made cool…it just might need a little stretching and guidance to go along with it.

Buy Abba's Child: The Cry of the Heart for Intimate Belonging.  Or if you think I need to buy some square-rimmed glasses and spike up my hair (in other words you disagree and want the hip-version) you can buy it here: Posers, Fakers, and Wannabes: Unmasking the Real You

Monday’s Ministry Musing: Teenagers and Communities of Grace

I have been thinking lately about how to create and cultivate a culture of grace in our church.  One particular thing that I was thinking about, that I wanted to explore further, concerns using teenagers during our Sunday morning worship service—and other “big” moments for the gathered church.

Teenagers, by way of their level of experience, are probably more prone to make key mistakes.  That is not to insult teenagers, that is just a statement of truth.  We learn from our mistakes, and teenagers have not had the opportunity to make a ton of mistakes—much less learn from them.  So, why not give teenagers more opportunities to make really big mistakes?  That would give an opportunity for the church to extend grace, as well as an opportunity for the teen to experience it. 

Obviously we want to give teens the greatest chance for success.  But that does not mean that we want to nurture them in such a way that we never give them opportunities for failure.  We should be a community of grace that is able to lovingly use failure to further growth—growth for the “failure” and the one being “failed”. 

What does this look like?

When the teenager makes a critical mistake we refuse to treat church like a business.  Rather than getting mad because “a teenager shouldn’t be in such a position” we offer grace and maybe even merciful laughter.  Instead of thinking “what if an unbeliever leaves because of the shoddy production” we ask questions like “what if an unbeliever stays only because of a glamorous production”. 

Our goal is a community of messy grace instead of slick production.  One way to create and cultivate that is by putting a teenager in a critical position. 

Thoughts?

Monday’s Ministry Musing: Video Teaching?

If you attend a traditional church there is a pretty decent chance that at least on of your current Sunday school classes is using a video curriculum of some sort.  I know that smaller churches especially use these quite frequently.  I also understand why churches use these.  Who wouldn’t want to have Louie Giglio teaching your pupils instead of Joe the trucker with no theological training? 

In my past life as a youth pastor I received numerous pleas from companies to try their product for our teaching time.  I never did because one of my great passions is preaching and teaching.  However, I am now an associate pastor and my responsibility in some areas is less “hands-on”.  Rather than teaching myself I am responsible for filling certain areas with people to teach.

Yet, I still would rather have Joe the trucker teaching instead of pre-packaged teaching from some of the best teachers in the world.  Why? 

First of all, God has placed Joe the trucker in our local church and not Louie Giglio.  Therefore, assuming that Joe the trucker has a passion and a certain giftedness for teaching, he is meant to fill that teaching role even if he is less polished. 

Secondly, my job as a pastor is to train the people in our local church for the works of ministry.  I am not certain that I am faithfully doing that if I pop in a video rather than spending the hard work of training an unpolished trucker how to teach the Bible.

There are also other practical reasons that I prefer not to use pre-packaged videos.  And I am not saying that in every instance using videos is wrong for a teaching session.  They can be very helpful if used in moderation and accompanied with more personal teaching.  But as for me I prefer training instead of polished. 

-----

P.S. I really love the Louie Giglio videos and have used them on occasion myself.  I used the passion teaching series simply as an example.  In my opinion those are actually a great resource to use to compliment the regular teaching of an unpolished Joe the trucker.

Preaching to Youth

Preaching the gospel to teenagers would absolutely mortify some people.  Thankfully Peter Mead as offered 5 level-headed tips (click through to see his explanations).

1. Be engaging, don’t be silly
2. This generation values meat
3. Recognize that you are speaking cross-culturally
4. Don’t be longer than necessary, but realize that attention spans are as short as ever
5. The younger generation value authenticity more than previous generations

I agree with each of these.  I am thankful that many people are beginning to realize that a good number of teens actually value the meat of God’s Word more than spam-eating contests. 

Alongside of these five I would add a sixth:

6. Allow for interaction.  Teens today are accustomed to being able to comment online, text, tweet, etc.  Making room for healthy interaction is a sure fire way to keep a short attention span. 

Review of Crash Course by Daniel Darling

Author: Daniel Darling

Pages: 224 pages

Publisher: New Hope Publishers

Price: 10.19

Genre: Youth/Christian Living/Teen Devotional

Quick Summary:

Crash Course is a self-described “fast-paced, 100 day journey to forming a solid foundation of faith for the rest of your life”. Each day features a one page devotional, a bottom line statement, a power prayer, a power passage, and an invitation to “own it”.

The devotionals are short and simple with catchy illustrations that provide solid nuggets of truth. The prayers are also simple yet pointed. The power passages are relevant to the devotional and not simply plucked out of nowhere. What may be unfamiliar to many devotional readers is Darling’s “own it” section. Here he encourages teens to dig deeper and really study the topic at hand.

What I Liked:

I love that Darling raises the bar for teenagers. He does not allow them to settle for a quick read and then done with your devotional time. His section encouraging students to “own it” is an excellent idea. This would make a pretty encouraging read for students during the summer months. The 100 days would be perfect for such an endeavor.

I also like that the author is very ecumenical in his beliefs. He is solid in the essentials and lenient in the non-essentials. As an example of this, on Day 18 Darling discusses Jesus’ second coming. He says this, “Christians disagree on the specifics of Jesus’ coming. Here is what I believe…” Then he discusses his belief in the Rapture, etc. As you are probably aware I disagree, but I thoroughly appreciate the way he worded this; he leaves room for disagreement.

This book is a simple way to whet the appetite of teenagers and fill them with solid orthodoxy without a ridiculous amount of struggle.

What I Disliked:

One of the things I dislike most about devotionals is their format. They are typically extra heavy on story, little exposition, and a nice little bible verse to tie it together. I do not fault the author as much as I do the system. I simply wish our devotions were more solidly geared on expositing texts rather than topics with Bible verses added on. But as far as teen devotions go this one is good, I just wish the whole genre were transformed.

Should You Buy It?

I am torn on this one. I think this book may be best suited for a junior high student that has recently been converted. If you are buying it for someone in that age range then this is an excellent resource.  But I could be wrong, it is quite possible that senior high students would like it to.  Just know your students.  If they are more established in the faith this may not be the book for them.  If, on the other hand, you have a decent group of new believers then this may be a great resource to put in front of them. . 

Rating 3.5 out of 5 Stars

This Week in Blogworld 5/15

Today my wife and I are celebrating our 5 year anniversary!!!

Very passionate plea from John Piper to President Obama concerning abortion:

(HT: DG)

 

Kevin DeYoung shares why he is a Calvinist.

Dr. Moore writes an amazing article about the devil’s voting record.  (HT: JT)

Thabiti points out a bleak statistic that 60% of baptisms within the SBC are “re-baptisms”.

Gregg Harris writes a letter to parents.

That does it…these videos should keep you busy.

This guy is everything I dream to be as a youth pastor.

(HT: CPC)

Review of Get Outta My Face! by Rick Horne

Author: Rick Horne

Pages: 176 pages

Publisher: Shepherd Press

Price: 9.50

Genre: Youth/Counseling

Quick Summary:

If you have spent any time with teenagers then more than likely you have met an angry, unmotivated, or disinterested teen. You may even have one living in your house. Rick Horne hopes to help parents, teachers, and youth workers reach these teenagers with biblical counsel.

His method is really quite simple: Get to Know Your Teen –> Build a Bridge –> Point to the Cross. As Horne explains, “This book will teach you how to build a bridge to young adults on the basis of the ways in which their desires and actions reflect the image of God and the blessing of common grace”.

What I Liked:

This book really shines in the area of helping adults understand what is going on in the mind of today’s teenager. As I read through this I could not help but think of parent’s I would love to get this book to. This book is also written in an easy to remember fashion. It is well outlined and easy to follow.

Horne writes as one on the front lines in the war for the hearts of teens. He knows what he is talking about and provides wise insight and counsel to those uninformed in the battle. He interjects humor, sadness, and hope.

What I Disliked:

I read this book over a month ago, but put off writing a book review so I could think it over. Something about it did not sit well with me. Not that it should be confined to propping up the leg to your kitchen table; nothing that severe. Something seemed to be missing. Had it not been for the last chapter I would have been very disappointed.

After some time to think it over I think I have discovered what sits wrong with me. The book shines in the area of “HOW TO REACH ANGRY, UNMOTIVATED TEENS”. But it is incomplete in doing so “WITH BIBLICAL COUNSEL”. It effectively teaches how to build a bridge, but once that bridge is built it leaves you asking, “what now”? I hope the last chapter serves as introduction to a second book on pointing teenagers to the cross. This important chapter should have been woven into every chapter the preceded it.

Should You Buy It?

Even with the negatives where this book shines it really shines. If you have a general idea of what it means to reach someone with biblical counsel but are unsure how to build a bridge into their lives then this is a great book for you. If you already have built a bridge and are looking for advice on how to offer biblical counsel then this book is not for you. But what do you expect, the title of this book is Get Outta My Face! You expect a book telling you how to reach the unmotivated. I only wish it had been about 250 pages instead of 176. Still, though, every parent and youth worker needs to read this book.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5 stars

Perhaps this is overly simplistic but....

Sometimes counseling teenagers can cause head-scratching and heartache. Sometimes counseling my own soul can be head-scratching and heart wrenching. I have counseled numerous teenagers that were crying in my office because they could not conquer a particular sin. My wife and I have counseled girls that are struggling with "boy issues" (e.g., their immaturity, their jerkiness, and their selfishness). And I have counseled young men that are struggling with "boy issues" (lust, pornography, anger). One thing always astonishes me...and this astonishes me about my own heart as well; we wallow in sin and plead with God to stir our affections at the same time.

It seems to me that the wisest thing to do would be to flee from the sin. Usually when pressed young men can figure out the source of their lust. Unless your conscience is ridiculously seared (and that is possible) you know when you are "crossing the line". That is why if you are in union with Christ such sin is ridiculous. Please do not misunderstand me; I have a tremendous amount of compassion and empathy with young men that struggle with these issues (as well as young women that "like" guys that they shouldn't). However, there comes a time when we need to confront the ignorance behind such sin.

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend and I messed up. I mean I know we were both in our swimming suits. And I know that she probably should not have been sitting on my lap. And I guess it was silly for us to try to help out each other not get a sunburn. And yes I know the likelihood of getting a sunburn "there" is improbable. But I really prayed before we went swimming because I knew it might be tough. Do I need to read my Bible more, you think? Should I have prayed harder? I really tried not to fall into this sin, why did God not help me out more. Why did he not deliver me from evil?"

Well, you see he did. Jesus delivered you from evil when he disarmed the power of Satan on the Cross. He robbed sin of its power when he brought you out of the kingdom of darkness and transferred you into the kingdom of Jesus. The principle of death has died in your heart so you no longer have to be a slave to these passions; He has supplanted that principle of death by making you alive with Christ. He has conquered sin. The problem is you are going back to it. The problem is you run away from his kingdom and sit in the filth of the old one. And you wonder why you fall?

The prodigal son did not cry out from his pig slop "Father come save me". He remembered the steadfast love of the Father, got out of the pig slop and ran back to where he belonged. So, here is the solution: stop letting your girlfriend sit on your lap, stop rubbing her down with sun tan lotion, and stop swimming half-naked. Sin is serious and it is deceptive. But it has been defeated. Live like it.

The problem is that we sometimes secretly want the fleeting pleasures of sin. This is why we need to pray that the Lord might "stir our affections" and root out of our hearts sin and unbelief. But that prayer does not mean that you stay in the pig slop. If you are a believer the death of Christ has conquered the heart that longs for pig slop; just get out of it. And if you ever find yourself wandering back remember the love of the Father, repent, and get out of the pig slop and go read 1 John 1:9.

Faithful or Fickle?

I posted this at the new Reforming Youth Ministry site as well:

In his classic work on Spiritual Depression, Martin Lloyd-Jones writes, “Do not think in terms of bargains and rights in the Kingdom of God. That is absolutely fatal. There is nothing so wrong as the spirit which argues that because I do this, or because I have done that, I have the right to expect something else in return”. (129)

In this context Lloyd-Jones is addressing those that believe, “if we pray for certain things, we are bound to have them, for instance if we pray all night for revival we must have revival”. In our day the church is inundated with such philosophy. Peruse the shelves of your local Christian bookstore and you will find countless titles that promise and “If-then” fix-all in your relationship with God. And yes, those of us that are Reformed-minded are not immune to this. Who of us has not been tempted to think that if we have good doctrine and solid Bible teaching then God will honor His Word and souls will get saved?

If my previous post is read through the lens of “bargains and rights” then it will be grossly misunderstood. Reading through such a lens one would come to the conclusion that if we have biblical student ministry then we will inevitably produce solid twenty-somethings. If you read through such a lens you might get fired up by the statistics and go on a quest to make the student ministry at your church more biblical. And that would certainly be a good thing. However, this is what could happen:

• Rather than going up because you are doing things biblically, your attendance actually begins to drastically dwindle. If you are still looking through the lens of “bargains and rights” then you will quickly assume “well, that didn’t work” and will abandon the biblical approach for something else that “gets results”.
• God blesses your ministry exponentially. You observe marked spiritual growth in your teenagers. Your attendance increases. Teens are coming to know Christ. Your student ministry has become biblical. Looking through the lens of “bargains and rights” you will inevitably conclude—in a spiritual sounding way of course—that God blessed you because you followed these steps. Pride will begin creeping in as you start getting book deals and have people asking “how do you do ministry”.

How then should you read the last post and everything else that is forthcoming? Read it with a goal of faithfulness. Rather than having a “bargains and rights” mentality have an “even if you don’t” mentality. In Daniel 3 we read the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego. They are faced with the option of being faithful to God alone in worship and risk their lives or preserve their lives and become guilty of idolatry; they chose faithfulness. Their words in verses 16-18 is a reflection of an “even if you don’t” mentality. This is their response to King Nebuchadnezzar’s threat of throwing them in the fiery furnace:

“O Nebuchadnezzar, we have no need to answer you in this matter. If this be so, our God whom serve is able to deliver us from the burning fiery furnace, and he will deliver us out of your hand, O king. But if not, be it known to you, O king, that we will not serve your gods or worship the golden image that you have set up.”

Did you notice that? We expect that God will deliver us. We have faith that God will reward our faithfulness by a miraculous display of his power. God will protect us. And then you see the “even if not” mentality shine through. If I can be allowed to paraphrase, “King, even if God, for His good pleasure, decides not to preserve us we are still going to be faithful to Him and not you.” Regardless of results we must be faithful. What does an “even if you don’t” mentality look like? This is what could happen:

• Rather than going up because you are doing things biblically, your attendance actually begins to dwindle. However, because you have an “even if you don’t” mentality you press on in faithfulness to God. You may never have high attendance or have any of the typical marks of successful ministry. Your ministry may have the fruit of Isaiah (see chapter 6) instead of the fruit of Jonah. Yet, you will also get the reward of Isaiah instead of Jonah—“well done good and faithful servant”.
• God blesses your ministry exponentially. You observe marked spiritual growth in your teenagers. Your attendance increases. Teens are coming to know Christ. Your student ministry has become biblical. Because you have an “even if you don’t” mentality your “success” results not in pride but in humble awe that God would shine His mercy upon you. Like Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego people start asking about your God instead of about your opinion (3:28).

What will it be? Will you have an “even if you don’t” mentality or will you view ministry through the lens of “rights and bargains”?

Review of Do Hard Things by Alex and Brett Harris

Author: Alex and Brett Harris

Pages: 242 pages

Publisher: Multnomah

Price: 11.55

Genre: Youth/Christian Living


Quick Summary:

Do Hard Things is a book written by teens to teens. The foundational impetus for this book is that teenagers are being sold short and are selling themselves short. As a response Alex and Brett Harris have founded The Rebelution; a teenage rebellion against low expectations. This book is their “revolutionary message in its purest and most compelling form”.

The first four chapters of the book are an attempt to cause many to rethink the way the teen years a viewed. Each chapter is laying the foundation and challenging teenagers to “do hard things”. But what exactly does it mean to do hard things? The second section of the book (Chapter’s 5-9) provides a picture of “doing hard things”. The Harris brothers list five types of hard and give practical examples throughout of doing hard things in these areas. In the last section, we are given real life examples of teenagers that are part of The Rebelution. It would also be negligent to not mention the appendix: Do Hard Things, The Gospel, and You.

What I Liked:

There is much in this book to like. The writing style is very fluid and catchy. It is a very easy read but also one that has the ability to stir up your heart. The first part of the book, at least in my opinion, shines the brightest. The second and third section are necessary to help us see what The Rebelution looks like but I was sold on the first part. The Myth of Adolescence and A Better Way are two really great chapters. These teens know their culture and are impacting it in a profound way.

As a youth pastor I made an effort to get this book in the hands of every one of our teenagers. We went through this book in our Sunday School meetings and most of the students liked it, and some were excited about joining The Rebelution. This book, or at least all of the principles behind it, needs to catch on in our churches and within our youth culture.

What I Disliked:

This book will not solve all of the problems within teen culture nor is it meant to. However, there does seem to be something that is missing with this book. It pains me to say it because I expected the exact opposite, but the thing that seemed to missing was a Christ-centered, gospel-centered, appeal to rebel against low expectations. By no means is the gospel left out. The Harris brothers are always quick to point to God and many of their stories include the living out of the gospel. But there is a sense in which the gospel seems to take a back seat to social change. Would they consider someone a Rebelutionary that started a grass roots political campaign but never came to know and share in the glory of Christ? It is clear that their intent is to “do hard things for the glory of God” but does that really happen when unbelievers are merely creating social change?

Should You Buy It?

If you are an old codger that disdains and is bothered by the plight of youth culture then you need to read this book to see why teens are the way they are and what you can do about it. If you are a blissfully ignorant teenager then you need to read this book. If you work with teenagers and are beating your head against the wall this might be a good book for you. Simply put, if you have ever seen a teenager then this might be a good read for you. In my opinion this book is a seed of something really great. Be a part of it, buy the book.

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

Launch of Reforming Youth Ministry

It seems as if God has been placing me in numerous situations to discuss the nature of youth ministry. By no means am I anything close to an expert. But I have been doing youth ministry for over 7 years now with almost 5 of that at our current church. Through that time God has taught me much about ministry to students. For the past couple of years I have been trying to answer this question (both for myself and for a few others): What does youth ministry look like from a reformed perspective? I would love to be able to ask, "what does youth ministry look like from a biblical perspective". But that will not cut it--because hopefully everybody at least assumes that they are doing it from a biblical perspective.

The blog should be up and running in a couple of days. You can check it out by going here:

Reforming Youth Ministry

A Principle for Ministry

seWhat you do to hook them is what you will have to do to keep them. Windsor Hills Baptist Church in Oklahoma has made the news by giving away an AR-15 semiautomatic rifle to encourage young people to attend their youth conference. The goal is for "teens to find faith".

My main disagreement with this is not necessarily giving a teenager a gun. That could be done responsibly--many of our teenagers are responsible hunters. My main problem with this is that it rejects the sufficiency of Christ and his Word to bring about "teens finding faith". Apparently God's Word is no longer sufficiently the power of God unto salvation but it now requires giving away semi-automatic rifles.

Remember this; what you do to hook them is what you will have to do to keep them. You cannot slide the gospel in the backdoor--unless you intend to ALWAYS slip the gospel in the back door. Here is a suggestion: believe God enough to draw people to himself--yes even crazy lost teenagers.

I also should mention that my "problem" is not with the people at Windsor Hills Baptist Church, their staff, their people, nor anything of that sort. I wholeheartedly affirm their passion to bring about "teens finding faith". My "problem" is with the theology and dangerous philosophy of ministry that brings about such events. It is unnecessary and actually hinders the glorious gospel, and I hope that they turn from this and find more confidence in the gospel. I say this with much humility.