One Reason You Don’t Agree With Me

In reading a letter of John Newton I came across this gem:

…he could remove every prejudice, and give equal degrees of light to all his people, so that there should be no difference among them either about doctrine or discipline.  But were this the case, their uniformity would not afford them such opportunities of approving their obedience to him, and their love to each other, as they may draw from lesser differences.  But alas! remaining corruptions, and the subtlety of Satan, operate so strongly, that the sheep of Christ think they do Him service, by worrying and tearing one another. 

In other words, while we are still living on this side of a Redeemed Eden one of the reasons that the Lord continues to allow differences amongst us is to give us an opportunity for love and obedience to Him. 

Newton then gives a horribly wonderful example of our tearing at one another in the name of defending the cause of God.

Alas, when self fights in holy armour, and the cause of our own unsanctified passions is honoured with the specious name of the cause of God and truth, then religious zeal is seen in all the sense the original bears but the good sense, and breathes forth indignation, envy, and wrath.  Then Satan is transformed into an angel of light, and men suppose themselves to be men abounding in duty, in proportion as they depart from the spirit of love, which is the chief criterion and characteristic of the religion of Jesus.

And now the illustration:

I remember a passage somewhere in ancient history, of a battle fought in the night; both parties were resolute, many were the slain and wounded on both sides, both congratulated themselves on the mischief they had done to their opponents—at length the day broke, and turned their joy into sorrow.  They then found to their confusion that their animosity had been wholly owing to fighting in the dark before they had made proper inquiry, for though they had mistaken each other for enemies, they were friends and allies, engaged in the same cause, and had been weakening each other for the advantage of the common enemy.

May we not bruise one another and strike the heel of our common Master whilst thinking that we are in the business of crushing the head of the Serpent. 

Review of Pursuing Peace by Robert D. Jones

Call me a nerd but I was very ecstatic about what was going down on Tuesday evening in my little church in Northeast, Missouri.  I had been saved for a few months now and beginning to get acclimated into the church.  I could not seem to get enough of this life with other believers.  So it was only fitting that when there was something on Tuesday night that I would attend. 

That something in this instance was the quarterly church business meeting.  Boy, was I pumped!  I figured that this was were we all got together to talk about our evangelism strategies, to share about how the church was going to disciple, and to pray together for the next quarter before our next get together. 

The first 15 minutes of the business meeting weren’t so bad.  I assumed that discussing the length of tape to put around the boiler was an important side issue that we had to deal with before we could get to the good stuff.  But 30 minutes in to this thing I was painfully discouraged.  People were having conflict over silly little things.  We were discussing paint colors, carpet fibers, clock positions, and everything else that seemed to matter little compared to the gospel. 

Now we can all kind of chuckle (or perhaps lurch in our mouth) thinking about such meetings because we have been a part of them.  In fact if you have spent any time in church (more accurately any time breathing) you know that it comes with a host of conflict.  I had assumed early on that once you come to know Christ and live out your faith in the context of a local church that conflict is held to a minimum. 

Now after having served in various ministry positions for over 10 of my 31 years of life I am painfully aware of how deeply conflict is ingrained in the life of the local church.  And this is not to mention marital relationships or other familial relationships.  Nor to mention conflict with those we rub shoulders with at work, football games, school, or even the movie store. 

One thing is certain about conflict, it goes wherever sinners are.  And yet I surprisingly continue to be surprised by the painful reality of conflict.  As a pastor and writer that deals with some sort of conflict on an almost daily it can be very tempting to either ignore it or blow it out of proportion.  It can also be tempting to take a book like Robert D. Jones’ Pursuing Peace and simply toss it to the side because “I’ve heard all of this before”. 

But you probably haven’t heard it all before.  Not in this way.  That’s the thing about this book.  It is so well structured and so graceful that it makes charting the choppy waters of conflict look like smooth sailing. 

And that is what really high quality writers, actors, shortstops, etc. do.  They do their job so gracefully that everybody watching thinks, “oh that’s easy man, I think I could do that”.  And then you get a hard hit ground ball that jacks you upside the face and your realize that it’s not easy that guy was just that good.  That is what Pursuing Peace does.  It is a well written book on conflict.

Summary:

Jones states from the beginning that his goal is to “provide a step-by-step process for pursuing peace in all your relationships and to give you a tool you can use to help others” (12).  And this he does masterfully.  No faithful reader can walk away from this book and honestly say that he/she does not now know the biblical process for resolving conflict. 

And it’s not just a few theoretical steps that are divorced from grace and the gospel.  For the first few chapters Jones focuses our eyes and hearts were they really need to be; namely, on God Himself.  In doing this he also reminds us that “pursuing peace” and “having God-pleasing relationships is not a dispensable luxury” (19).  It is the Christian life. 

Jones’ process for resolving conflict is three steps.  Step One: Please God.  Step Two: Repent.  Step Three: Love the Person.  Loving the Person includes having an attitude of grace, forgiving, confronting, and serving.  The book is structured around expounding each of the steps in this process. 

My Take:

For me the first two chapters became like watching a graceful shortstop.  I was tempted to just skim through the book, do my obligatory review, and move on trying to wade through the conflict in my life.  But something happened in chapter three.  Chapter 3 was like a play that makes Sportscenter and makes you simply marvel.  Afterwards you aren’t thinking, “oh I could do that”.  Your thinking, “wow, if I want to be a good shortstop I better study this dude”. 

That’s what happened to me after chapter 3.  I realized the beauty and the simplicity of conflict.  It’s really something that is a “duh”.  All we can really control in our conflicts is pleasing God.  And that is what is to be our central aim.  If I focus on pleasing God it may not solve the conflict but it will make me a faithful disciple and that’s the biggest goal anyways.  It puts your focus in the correct place. 

Robert D. Jones does exactly what he set out to do.  He provides a clear and biblical process for pursuing peace in the midst of conflict and he provides a helpful tool that can easily be reproduced. 

Should You Buy It?

Absolutely.  This is and Ken Sande’s The Peacemaker are two vital books for Christian ministers.  They are also books that ought to be in the home of every believer.  Personally, I plan on reproducing this material and taking a group of people through it. 

You can buy it here. 

The Opportunity of Conflict

I am currently reading through Pursuing Peace by Robert Jones.  I will have my review posted by the end of the week.  Conflict is not something that any of us get joy from.  Yet, we still have conflict. 

One of the keys to pursuing peace is to realize that there is a greater good that conflict can provide.  Jones lists three opportunities (p38-42) provided by conflict:

1. Relational conflicts provide opportunities for us to know God better, draw near to him, and please him
2. Relational conflicts give us opportunities to become more like Jesus
3. Relational conflicts give us opportunities to love and minister to others—both those with whom we have conflict and those who are watching

Under that second opportunity Jones also gives 7 ways that conflict can transform us into the likeness of Christ (39-40):

1. by enhancing and deepening our relationship with Him
2. by allowing us to experience the suffering of Jesus
3. by exposing our remaining sin
4. by exhibiting to others his work in us
5. by using the conflict to cause us to engage more actively in the body of Christ
6. by equipping us to minister to others with greater wisdom, sensitivity, and empathy
7. by elevating our desire for Christ’s return and the new heaven and earth, where peace prevails and righteousness reigns. 

I haven’t quite finished the book but it’s a good one so far.  You can buy it here for around 10 bucks.