My usefulness was the last idol I was willing to give up; But now I thank the Lord, I can part with that also, and am content to be anything or nothing, so that His wise and holy will may be done!
-Cotton Mather
The above quote by Cotton Mather was one that John Newton had read in his mid-30’s. At the age of seventy-five Newton shares the quote with John Ryland, Jr. and notes that he has been reflecting on this quote for the last 40 years. Newton is now an elderly man that is beginning to lose his health (mainly his sight) and thereby his “usefulness” to the kingdom. This Newton says is a trial that actually seems to require more grace than being active in ministry.
Methinks if one ounce of grace, so to speak, may carry us on in active life, it may require a pound, to maintain a cheerful resigned spirit, when the Lord appoints us to sit still and be quiet. For in active life there is something pleasing to Mr. Self; he loves to see many eyes upon him, and to be followed by a crowd when he preaches. But he does not like to be shut up and in a manner forgotten.
What Newton is saying is that our level of contentment in the Lord and satisfaction in Christ alone is often displayed not in moments of activity but in moments where it seems like we have very little usefulness. Do I rejoice when others are serving God and their usefulness is quite prominent? Or do I wish that I was the one being “mightily used by God”? Will I be content when I am seventy-five and others are beginning to take my place?
It appears that “usefulness” may indeed be an idol that does not go down easily. What are the ways in your own life that usefulness has become and idol? What are ways that your “usefulness” has replaced the righteousness of Christ as the measuring stick of your right standing with God?
May our hearts cry be to see His kingdom advance by whatever means He chooses to use…
I apologize for the voice dub on the above scene—it is the only video I could find. I also must mention that for the following illustration I am indebted to Dr. Timothy Paul Jones from SBTS.
“BOB, It’s time to engage!”
Voddie Baucham has written Family Shepherds to not only inspire men to engage and lead their families but also to give Christian men a resource to engage. This practical call for men to take up their God-given responsibilities to lead their families is meant to be an encouragement to men and a helpful resource for churches to use to equip husbands and fathers.
It has been my experience that most men in the church want to lead their families. The problem is that they either do not know how or lack the confidence to embark on this difficult and life-long labor.
I confess on behalf of men everywhere that we are quite often guilty of only playing the games we are good at. If we can dominate at baseball but can’t quite master ping pong you will see us on the baseball diamond far more often than swinging a paddle in our basement. The same goes with areas in our lives. Many men feel confident in their jobs, social clubs, or hiding behind the success of their sports teams. Few men feel confident as husbands, fathers, and spiritual leaders. As a result many men disengage.
Sadly, though many fathers compare their own parenting not according to Scripture but according to their own fathers treatment of them. Yet all across America families are being devastated by men that have “taken their ball and went home”. As Baucham there are…
“a myriad of families strewn across battlefields of broken homes, having been ravaged by passivity, ignorance, cowardice, and usurpation. They’re homes with fathers who have no earthly idea how to lead them, let alone the slightest inclination to shoulder the responsibility. What’s worse, many of these causalities of war are wearing medals and have trophies on their mantle that read, ‘For Merely Showing Up’! (19)
Men need to do far more than show up. Baucham hopes that Family Shepherds will not only inspire men to pursue more valuable trophies but also the book will equip men. Baucham’s desire is to help men “see their proper role and responsibility as a family shepherd” and then “give him the tools, motivation, confidence, and accountability he needs in order to step into that role and succeed.” (44)
The book is divided into five parts. The first part is a biblical exposition of the family and a passionate plea for men to see themselves as the family shepherd. The second part is meant to equip men to disciple their children by embracing their role as prophet and priest for their family. The third part rightly emphasizes the necessity of a family shepherd to have a healthy marriage. The fourth part deals with training and discipline by reminding dads that their goal is not to raise good little Pharisees but Jesus followers. The last section is a lifestyle evaluation where Baucham challenges men to consider their church membership, use of time, and dual citizenship. The book also has a short section meant to address the reality of fatherless families and then two short appendices: tools and a sample prayer gram.
Does it succeed?
One of my “projects” at FB Jasper is to develop, implement, and work out family-equipping ministry in our church. As such I am constantly looking for resources to not only inspire men to take up their God-given responsibility to be a family shepherd but also to equip men to fulfill that role. I was very excited to see that Family Shepherds claims to accomplish both of these aims. Does it?
If I ask the question of this book, “does it clearly define and inspire men to take up their God-given role of family shepherd” then the answer is a resounding yes. Baucham not only navigates controversial aspects (such as discipline and male headship) but he also inspires men to do what God has called them to do. I appreciate Baucham’s chapter on the necessity of a man putting his wife ahead of his children. I further appreciate his emphasis on the necessity of the local church. I would feel comfortable giving this book to any man that is wondering what his responsibility is as a husband and father.
If I ask the question of this book, “does it equip men to confidently fulfill their role as family shepherd” I would humbly and disappointedly say not quite. In my opinion the book does a good job of showing men what to do but it falls a little short in helping men actually figure out how to do it. Though Baucham rightly points out the necessity of men discipling their wives, there is little in the book to assist men in accomplishing this task. There is some practical help on catechizing, leading family worship, and disciplining children but as a whole the book does not seem to fulfill it’s promise to equip men as much as it does calling men.
The reader should also be aware of Baucham’s blunt style. He is known as a teacher that simply says things as they are without leaving much room for grey. There are times when this is necessary but some may be turned off by the way Baucham navigates controversial topics. If one is not already in agreement with Baucham’s basic presuppositions I am not sure he winningly makes his case to convince a skeptical reader of adopting his position.
I will save for a later date my distaste for the occasional shot that Baucham seems to take at those that do not fully embrace his family-driven faith model of church and family ministry.
Conclusion
Though the book has a few weak spots I would still recommend it. The book is an excellent source for calling men to become family shepherds. If it were to be used as a resource to inspire men to discover their God given roles with the occasional practical tip to live that out then this book is very helpful. If you try using it as the resource (and I’m not sure Baucham would even suggest that) for equipping men to be family shepherds you will probably be disappointed.
I am very grateful for Voddie Baucham and his ministry. This book inspired me and taught me in areas where I have been lax. I would encourage every man to at least give this book a quick look—and some may want to feast for awhile.
I received the book free from Crossway in exchange for a review. The review did not have to be positive. If you would like to purchase the book you can do so for under 10 bucks. Click here if you want to buy it.
This happened about a year ago and I laughed then. I saw it again the other day and found myself laughing all over again. Roscoe Smith—and it’s fitting that someone with the name Roscoe would do this—is the culprit. He later explained his reasoning for his 80 foot heave:
"When I saw the clock, I thought there were two or three seconds left," Smith told the Hartford Courant. "My team -- man, they got on me in the locker room. I glanced at [the clock] and threw it up there. I just saw the clock going real fast."
As I am laughing through this video I’m struck by something that is not so laughable—the reality that I’ve thrown up 80 foot prayers with 11 seconds left in counseling sessions. Unlike Roscoe, I’ve done this more than once. Some troubled soul has came to my office and poured out their heart, and rather than remaining calm and really listening (taking the time to dribble up the court) I chuck up a full-court prayer.
It’s understandable to do this. After all the clock is moving really fast. It seems that this persons pain needs to be resolved this very second. We don’t have time to get into our offense or get the ball across half-court and call time-out. Time is running out. That clock is ticking. I better lob some sort of advice or wisdom that gets this person’s level of pain down and comfort up.
The problem is that what was needed in this situation was not an 80 foot toss into the stands. There may be time for those full court throws—like when there really is 1 second left instead of 11 seconds. But most of the time what feels like 1 second is really closer to eleven and what is needed is a patient walk up the court (digging for the real issue) and then working for a high percentage shot.
Most of our counseling will be of the 11 second-enough time to run it up the court-variety. Very seldom is it 1 second. The wise counselor will realize this and not treat 11 second counseling like 1 second left full court tosses. To do so puts you in danger of pulling a Roscoe. So, counselors trust the sovereignty of God, learn from his patience, and don’t pull a Roscoe.
Four years ago we were in a hospital in Hannibal, MO. Daddy was changing his first diapers and still in awe that the little boy that I was holding in my hands was my precious son. From the moment that mommy and I first saw you we fell in love. I still remember when your eyes and daddy’s eyes met. It was as if you were thinking, “this is the face to the voice I’ve been hearing muddled for a few months now—what’s up daddy!”
My love for you has never waned in these four years; only grown. I may be a tad biased, but I am convinced that you are the most amazing little boy that is presently walking on the earth. You have such a fun sense of humor. I love hearing you tell jokes. You are a really good joke teller. I love hearing you laugh as you watch cartoons. I love watching you be Spiderman, Mario, Hulk Hogan, or any of the characters from Despicable Me. I love to make you laugh. I love watching baseball (or Cars, or Despicable Me, or Mario, or all the other movies) with you as you fall asleep at night.
I love hearing you tell us the story of Jesus’ birth. I am very proud that you are only four but you seem to be starting to understand the gospel. I am so blessed to be able to teach you all of the Bible stories—not for the sake of Bible stories but because they point us to Christ. I’m glad that God has decided to give me you as a son. I am gladly blessed that for how many years the Lord sees fit to have you live under our roof that we get to share this life together. Even when you get older, get married (if the Lord so decides), and have children of your own (if the Lord wills), you will still be my son and my love for you will continue to grow.
I look forward to all of the experiences that we will have together—except for maybe teaching you math. I know that we already enjoy watching baseball together and I look forward to cheering for the Royals this summer. I also know that at some point you will probably create your own opinion and the Royals, Browns, Bulls, and Missouri Tigers will be less appealing. In those moments it will be fun to root against you.
I also know that we already love telling stories together. It is such a blessing to get to tell not only Bible stories to you for the first time but also church history stories. I have to confess, I am very proud that my little boy that just turned for can tell people about Augustine, John Calvin, Absalom Jones, and a host of other figures in church history.
Yes, you are quite an amazing blessing to mommy and daddy. We know that every bit of this comes from our gracious and loving Father. Every good and perfect gift comes from God. You indeed are a wonderful gift that we know has come to us from the Lord. May mommy and I enjoy every moment that God gives us with you. I pray that the gospel goes deep enough in mommy and daddy’s heart that we can enjoy this wonderful gift that has been given to us.
My prayer for you and your life continues to be that whatever you do that you do it in obedience to the Lord and you do it so that Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen God, may be the only boast of your generation. I pray first and foremost that soon and very soon you may come to savingly know Jesus as your Lord and your Savior. Then I pray that all of your life is one of growing in your knowledge and enjoyment of everything that Christ has purchased on your behalf.
Isaiah, Jesus is very good. Daddy will let you down at times. Jesus never will. Daddy loves you a million times infinity—but Jesus loves you even more. Daddy, would give his life for you; Jesus, already has and would do it a million times over—though that is not necessary. He is the one you need. You will spend eternity marveling at and worshipping Jesus. He is cooler than Mario, more awesome than Gru, more powerful than Spider-man, and has far more joy than all the Cars combined—yes, even Mater. I know too that by the grace of God daddy is one of your heroes too. Jesus is way cooler. We will spend all of eternity in heaven, together, worshipping Jesus. He is our shared hero. As much as we love watching the Royals together—we will infinitely more enjoy worshipping Jesus. He’s the one you need.
Happy birthday, bud. You are a huge blessing to mommy and daddy. There is so much more to say and I am thankful that I get a lifetime to say it and show it. I love you!
It has been my experience that most men in the church want to lead their families. The problem is that they either do not know how or lack the confidence to embark on this difficult and life-long labor. 
My love for you has never waned in these four years; only grown. I may be a tad biased, but I am convinced that you are the most amazing little boy that is presently walking on the earth. You have such a fun sense of humor. I love hearing you tell jokes. You are a really good joke teller. I love hearing you laugh as you watch cartoons. I love watching you be Spiderman, Mario, Hulk Hogan, or any of the characters from Despicable Me. I love to make you laugh. I love watching baseball (or Cars, or Despicable Me, or Mario, or all the other movies) with you as you fall asleep at night. 
Round 1 Winners: