A Lesson in Forgiveness From Tom Crean

Last Sunday the Indiana Hoosiers narrowly defeated the Michigan Wolverines to capture their first Big 10 title in twenty years. This happened after the game:

Apparently, Tom Crean holds Jeff Meyer partially responsible for the wreckage he inherited when he took the position at IU. He was clearly wrong in confronting Meyer in such a way, especially after such an important game.

Crean has apologized to the Wolverines assistant. I’m glad that he apologized so quickly after the incident and not in response to a media firestorm. It’s great that he apologized.

But…

He also said this:

We discussed a couple of things and I apologized. In retrospect, I wish I had never addressed anything after the heat of battle in a game, but I did and we move on. End of story…

It is likely that what Crean is saying is, “Let’s not continue to cover this in the media”. And that is probably a valid point. But I found something in his apology that I see occasionally in my own heart.

I mess up sometimes. I mess up as a follower of Christ, as a husband, a father, a pastor, a friend, and anything else you could add. And when I say “I mess up” I mean that I rebel against God and commit odious sin that caused Jesus to hang on a cross. When I sin as a believer the Holy Spirit convicts me. In my better moments I then apologize and confess.

However, it can be really tempting when asking for forgiveness to assume that your apology is the end of the story. There are times when we must reap the consequences of our sin. We must allow the other person to feel the weight of our sin against them. We ought not let ourselves off the hook too easily. Of course forgiveness needs to happen whenever we seek forgiveness. But restitution also needs to happen. And sometimes that takes time.

Just because it is “end of story” on your side does not mean that it is the end of the story on the side of the one you have offended.

When Serpents Bite Your Granny

Perhaps the most offensive claim of the gospel is that a hate-filled cannibalistic child molester finds the same redemption and has an equal status in the eyes of God as your dear old church lovin’, bake-sale havin’, baby burpin’ granny.  The truth that there is only one way to salvation for granny and the cannibal is equally comforting and offensive.  It’s offensive to the vestiges of self-righteousness in our own heart but it is a great comfort to those acquainted with the darkness of their own hearts. 

In the late 1700’s John Newton wrote a letter to a dejected pastor that was stricken with illness and despair.  This man felt that though he had preached to many and rejoiced in seeing their having found grace he was not sure that he himself could be pardoned.  Newton did what any good pastor does to those that are in despair—he preached to him the gospel.  His counsel here is especially rich:

When the brazen serpent was erected in the wilderness, to cure those who must otherwise have died, the benefit was not restrained to those who had been bitten by the fiery serpent but once or a few times.  The worst case amongst the people was relieved as soon and as certainly as the very slightest.  The remedy was universally proposed to every person.  The application was easy; it was only, look and live.  But if a man had spent all his time in measuring or counting his wounds, instead of looking to the ordinance of God, he might have died, though the means of life were within his view.  The sense of the evil of sin is given to quicken application to Christ, and not to discourage our approach.  The Scripture has concluded all under sin, and as such we are all condemned already.  But the Gospel proclaims a free pardon to everyone who, with the eye of his mind, looks for life to him who hung upon the cross.  (Letters of John Newton, 198, emphasis mine)

If you find yourself in despair over the greatness of your sin do not spend your time counting your wounds or licking them.  Turn your eyes away from your serpent bite and fix your eyes on the blood-drenched yet resurrection healed face of Jesus.  This is the remedy whether you find yourself a cookie makin’ granny or an openly shamed sinner. 

Review of The Devil in Pew #7 by Rebecca Nichols Alonzo

Author:  Rebecca Nichols Alonzo

Pages:  278 pages

Publisher:  Tyndale

Price: 10.19

Genre:  Biography/True Crime

As a husband, daddy, and pastor what would I do if a powerful man in the community was terrorizing my family?  That is the question that I was confronted with as I read through The Devil in Pew Number Seven. 

I received this book free from Tyndale Publishers in return for a review.  Sometimes that is a happy exchange and other times I plod along through a book to provide a review.  This particular experience was painful—though not because of the writing.  This books message is painful, yet ends with hope and a grace-soaked called to forgive. 

Unfortunately this is a true story written by a woman that “never felt safe as a child”.  She never felt safe because a man “obsessed with controlling the church and determined to get rid of anyone who stood in his way” terrorized their family for years.  The man hated her daddy, the pastor.  This was not confined to threatening phone calls, nasty stairs, or rumors being spread (though these were present).  We’re talking dynamite outside the newborns room, bullets through your daughters room, dynamite during church service, followed by laughing at the destruction. 

Some may believe that the story progresses a little slow and that the writing is a little too cutesy at times.  As for me, I think it builds tension and stirs the emotions.  I found myself picturing the gruesome scenes as the story climaxes.  My own heart was breaking as I picture my own family going through such an ordeal.  Perhaps, as a pastor I can relate a little deeper.  The ending was sweet and affecting.  If Rebecca Nichols Alonzo had the goal of telling her story to encourage forgiveness then she succeeds. 

After reading this I’m still not sure what I would do if I were in this pastors shoes.  Part of me would want to fight back and pursue this devil.  Part of me would want to pack my bags and get my family speedily to safety.  And part of me would probably do the same thing this pastor did—stay the course and choose the path of love even if it meant death. 

Every pastor at one time or another is faced with countless decisions like this one.  Do I stay and protect the flock or do I leave and protect my family?  This heart-gripping tale puts a face to that decision. 

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

The Devil in Pew Number Seven from Robin M. Bertram on Vimeo.

Jerry’s Moment

One of the greatest joys in my life is witnessing “that moment”.  That moment when everything changes in a persons mind—that moment when the gospel finally clicks.  I can remember a handful of times that God has given me the opportunity to witness “that moment” in someone’s life. 

One such person was a man named Jerry.  One night my friend—a former student of mine—was sharing the gospel with him.  A few issues came up and my buddy was not quite sure how to answer him; he called me hoping I could assist.  So, the next afternoon my friend and I went to Jerry’s apartment. 

One of the issues was that Jerry was a practicing homosexual.  He was deeply involved in the lifestyle.  I have to confess I had no idea what I was doing.  It also felt a little strange being alone in an apartment with a burly gay man and his 3 cats.  Not knowing what to do I simply asked a few questions to hear Jerry’s story. 

For about thirty minutes he told us everything.  He told us about his experience fighting homosexuality so as not to disappoint his mother.  He told us about currently being in trouble with the law for something he did not do.  Jerry wanted to be loved.  Jerry wanted to be loved by God.  But telling his story was his way of rehearsing the list of reasons why he was unacceptable to God.  At the end of his story he said that he was convinced that he had committed the unforgivable sin—homosexuality. 

What I said next shocked even me.  I agreed with him that homosexuality was an abomination.  (Not sure that I would used that particular word again).  I could see the pain and yet agreement in his eyes.  I continued.  This time, however, I added myself to a whole list of things that are offensive to a holy God.  I told Jerry about my pride, about my past failures, and a whole host of other things.  For what may have been the first time in his life Jerry did not feel alone in his brokenness. 

Then he had “the moment”.  I shared with him what Christ did on our behalf.  I explained that Christ died to conquer my pride and my brokenness.  I assured Jerry that there was no sin—not even homosexuality—that Christ could not forgive and conquer.  Through tear-soaked eyes Jerry cried out to God for grace and healing. 

A few days later Jerry was booted out of his apartment and had to move about 50 miles away.  But he left as a changed man.  The last I heard he was connected to a gospel-believing church and still clinging to hope in Jesus.  I’m happy that I got to see “the moment” when grace connected.

When Remembrance of Sins is a Means for Joy

In a letter to a man that had asked whether the sins of believers shall be publicly declared at the Great Day, Newton responded in part:

I think those are the sweetest moments in this life, when we have the clearest sense of our own sins, provided the sense of our acceptance in the Beloved is proportionally clear, and we feel the consolations of his love, notwithstanding all our transgressions. When we arrive in glory, unbelief and fear will cease forever: our nearness to God, and communion with him, will be unspeakably beyond what we can now conceive. Therefore the remembrance of our sins will be no abatement of our bliss, but rather the contrary.

You can read the entire letter here. 

I think Newton gets this idea from the sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50.  The more we come to grips with our sinfulness, the more they too become a cause for rejoicing.  We have been forgiven much; few people understood this as deeply as John Newton.  May the Lord cause us to rejoice that even the darkest of sins cannot separate us from His love. 

Modeling the Gospel by Asking for Forgiveness

“You might be the only Jesus that some people ever see”. Undoubtedly, you have heard that phrase. It is supposed to motivate us to holiness—especially around unbelievers. And it’s a decent statement. But, have you ever totally blown it around an unbeliever? If you are the only Jesus they will ever see then their view of Him is going to be pretty shallow. Perhaps, you said something stupid. Maybe it was something that you did that Jesus would probably not have done. Is your witness totally blown at this point?

It is my opinion that evangelicals have bought into the myth that a follower of Jesus has to be perfectly like Jesus in order to be an effective witness. This is not to say that holiness is not important. This is not to deny that we are to adorn the gospel with our lives. But if the gospel requires perfect examples of Jesus then nobody is going to come to embrace the God of the gospel.

One of the consequences of this myth is that discouraged believers struggle with personal evangelism. Because they are very aware of their sinfulness and because they assume they will “blow it” by their lives they are timid in sharing the gospel. I understand that often this is an excuse for not engaging unbelievers, but nonetheless, such a fear is present. Alongside this are believers that shamefully stop engaging an unbeliever with the gospel once you’ve “blown it”.

Perhaps the biggest consequence is that in order to be perfect examples of Jesus we fake it. We are often surface and inauthentic as we engage unbelievers. We do this because to really be authentic would be to show our brokenness. And because the gospel that is often shared is “Jesus will fix your life” we make a really poor example of an “abundant life”. So we fake it; and that is perhaps the most ineffective witness that we can have.

Here is the point: the most effective witness might be to believe the gospel enough to ask for forgiveness. If you blow it then perhaps the best way you can proclaim Jesus is by modeling repentance and believing in the power of Jesus enough to be authentic. So, if you blow your witness (and you will) then show Jesus by being humble enough to admit that you are wrong, don’t stop modeling the gospel.

Borrowed Light: Today in Blogworld 02/15

Tim Challies tries to answer whether or not our forgiveness is unconditional. Challies takes this position: "We are to model God’s forgiveness; God forgives conditionally; there we are to forgive conditionally."

The Irish Calvinst shares with us a wonderful quote, "You should be ready to preach, pray, or die in 5 minutes".

It may be a little too polemic for my taste, but Steve Camp has a good article (as well as wonderful questions) concerning faith and politics.

Sovereign Grace Ministries is hosting a Pastors College preaching conference. One brave soul asked about discouragement. You can read the response of C.J. Mahaney, Jeff Purswell, and Mike Bullmore, here.

There are numerous stories off the press concerning the recent news of Dr. Mohler. First of all, Dr. Mohler has a pre-cancerous tumor on his colon. Secondly, this means that he will not seek nomination for the SBC Presidency. Since it seems to me that Founders broke the story, they get the link.

Michael McKinley says that pastors should feed their sheep. "It seems to me that pastors are shepherds: if there's malnutrition in the flock it may or may not be our fault, but it is most definitely our problem." Thabiti responds.

Is God a God of second chances? Dan Phillips says, sometimes.

Tony Reinke continues his series on Engagle Culture with the Supremacy of God. We are treated to part 2 today.

2 Worlds Collide offers us the current list of the Top 10 Persecuted Nations.

David, of the Thirsty Theologian, begins his series answering why he is a Calvinist.

These all deserve an (HT:JT). The Washington Post profiles Eric Redmond. Michael Patton maps the emergent conversation.