When Obedience is Awkward

With all the power he could muster, he wrapped his tiny hands around daddy’s power drill/driver. He was given the task of screwing a couple of screws into the wall. He took both of his little hands and hoisted the monster up to the screw. It took him a couple of minutes to get it positioned…

Then he pulled the trigger.

He wasn’t expecting that much power. The drill spun itself out of the screw, and along the wall, leaving a healthy scratch. The little boy tried again. He labored and labored, until finally those screws were embedded into the now scratched up and mangled wall. 

Everything about the execution of this chore was awkward. And everything about it pleased the heart of this boy’s father.

Excellence, Excellence, Everywhere

I think about that little boy trying to use that power tool when I read things like this:

It’s important that we start and end with this: God demands excellence from us. And excellence is not about having more money, more staff, or more talent. Excellence is a choice. It’s setting a standard and living up to it. And our Creator wants a level of creativity in our churches and in our programs that is at the highest level. We are commanded and required to deliver. –Brad Lomenick

I’ve heard similar things before. And I think that I agree in part. We don’t want to have flippant attitudes toward worshipping the Lord. We want to give the Lord the best of us.

But let’s be honest, “the best of us” is always awkward. Living out the Christian life is not marked by excellence or victorious living. It’s marked by awkwardness. Beautiful, God-honoring, awkwardness.

And you and I need to be okay with that.

If we develop an attitude which says, “If it cannot be done perfectly then I don’t want to do it at all”, then we will never stumble our way through obeying Christ. Things like evangelism are awkward. Every step of the way. At least it is for me. At times awkwardness is our only option.

I’m not awesome. I’m awkward. That is why I delight in Psalm 103. “He knows our frame, He remembers that we are but dust…” I’m like that little boy wielding that power tool every time I get up to preach. Every time I husband, and father, and disciple. And I scratch lots of walls. I sometimes make a mess of things with my clumsy obedience. But I plan to keep going at it until I get that screw securely into the wall.

If you are inelegant in your exercise of grace, as I am, then you’ll be refreshed by this William Bridge quote:

…the Lord proclaims unto all His children, that what they lack in performance, he will make up in [compassion]. He proclaims this unto them, that He will require no more than He gives; He will give what He requires, and He will accept what He gives.

[Insert *sigh of relief* here]

Love in the Trinity

Today’s guest post comes from the pen of Jim Pemberton. Jim, his wife, Lois, and three children are members of Western Avenue Baptist Church in Statesville, NC, where they are active in the music ministry, foreign missions and local evangelism. Jim has a passion for strengthening the Body of Christ through sound Bible teaching and discipleship.

There’s a common teaching from the Bible that that God is love (1 John 4:8) and I suspect most of us are familiar with it. However, perhaps you’ve said or heard someone ask the question, “How could a loving God…?” This typically calls into question something about what the Bible teaches about God. What is often not taught is what love is according to the Bible and how it is exactly that God is love. So let’s look at that now.

Definitive and Descriptive Statements

There are two kinds of static statements that give us information on any subject. Descriptive statements give us information that may at least partially define the subject. Definitive statements may be descriptive in nature, but serve the purpose of identifying something uniquely. So if I told you that my car was red, that would narrow down which car is mine to some degree, but there are plenty of red cars in the world. If I gave you the VIN, that would narrow it down to only one car in the world.

When you are looking for how an author defines a word in the Bible, you look for definitive and descriptive statements in contexts that are appropriate for such things.

Love Never Ends

I usually stay away from loose translations of the Bible, but sometimes different translations can result in noticing something that can trigger a fruitful study. Recently, I was with a group who was reading 1 Corinthians 13 from the Good News Translation and we came to verse 8. Most translations render the Greek accurately to read “Love never ends,” in English. The translators of the GNT rendered it, “Love is eternal.” This is a descriptive statement, but the information we gain here is very useful for understanding love.

As I followed along in the reading, I realized that the rest of the chapter followed from this. The Greek doesn’t say “eternal”, but that’s essentially what it means. Every other gift of God falls away, but not love. When we stand before God, even faith and hope are mitigated by their fulfillment. Our faith is complete and our hope is complete because we are present with our Lord.

Love is Sacrificial and Submissive

Paul wrote a definitive statement for his use of love in Ephesians 5. The context is mutual submission (verse 21) as an expression of love among believers in general (verse 2) and in the covenant of marriage in particular (verses 22ff). In verse 25 he wrote the following:

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,”

Although it’s cloaked in the context, the definitive statement is that love is sacrificial. In the context love is submissive in that it seeks to meet another’s needs above meeting one’s own needs.

Paul is hardly the only apostle to write extensively about love. John agreed with Paul in a definitive statement that falls in the context of a teaching conversation Jesus had with his inner core of disciples that goes into detail about what Paul seems to casually touch on in 1 Corinthians 13:8. In John 15:13, he writes:

“Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.”

This simple sentence identifies love as that which is sacrificial on a scale at which the uppermost measure is the giving of one’s own life in the course of meeting another’s need.

Love Is the Basis for the Relationship Between Members of the Trinity

If we look at what John says about love in the conversation recorded in John chapters 14-17 we see how it is that love operates in an eternal context:
In 14:1-14, Jesus describes his relationship with the father as each being in the other. His role with the father is one of submission to the Father (verses 10, 11). In verse 12 Jesus indicates that this relationship is available to the disciples through faith and the obedience of submission. In verse 15, Jesus indicates that this practice is love. He also brings in the third member of the Trinity, the Holy Spirit, who he calls the “Helper” and the “Spirit of Truth”. The conversation that follows clarifies that each member of the Trinity is in each other on the basis of love (15:9, 10).

…And the Basis for Our Relationship with God

The amazing thing I notice is that this is intended to encourage and exhort the disciples to follow in this pattern of love. In so doing, Jesus indicates that as his followers, his disciples share in that divine, eternal love. Now that’s not to say that we will become God, but rather that we have an unbreakable relationship with God the same way that the members of the trinity have with each other. This gives us boldness in the face of the darkness of this world. If anything, this is John’s Great Commission discourse.

If you love God, go with the knowledge that you are in him and you have him in you with power and authority to accomplish what he has for you to accomplish in his name. So, when we face hardships the question is not how a loving God could allow such things. Rather our response should joy in the fact that we have him with us to face the worst situations.

Knowing the Creep’s Name…Two Years Later

Our sermon this morning was on Romans 8:12-17. Tonight in our Life Groups we will talk even more about the beauty of adoption. All of this reminded me of something amazing the Lord was doing in my life a couple years ago.

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Driving to class this morning I was rocking out to 100.5 Gen-X (Hopefully, it’s okay that I listen to secular music on my way to seminary).  One of my favorite songs from my teenage years came on, Creep by Radiohead:

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

Chorus:

But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

She's running out again
She's running out
She run, run, run run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

In the original version of this song the word “very” is replaced by the F-bomb.  This is an angry song about a young man that has a crush on a girl but he really does not feel like he is good enough for her.  At the end of the day he wishes that he was special like her.  “I want you to notice when I’m not around” is perhaps the most telling lyric.  This young man feels insignificant and unnoticed.  He would sacrifice his own identity just to be someone that would be liked. 

This song is the cry of my generation.  At least it is the cry of my own heart.  Growing up I always felt this way.  Maybe it was the necessary result of being a short kid with big ears and glasses.  Maybe it has deeper familial issues at the core.  I feel this song.  Check that, I felt this song. 

Actually my wife and I had a conversation about this last night.  Since my identity is being rocked to the core right now—rewind about 6 months and you will see why—we have these conversations often. 

For most of my life I have had a deep desire to be noticed.  Not necessarily in a “look at me, I’m the center of attention” type of way.  More so in a, “Hi, Mike I’m glad that you exist” type of way.  For years I killed parts of me that were “unacceptable”.  I became whatever people wanted me to be.  “Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want”.

Thankfully, God is healing me.  Last night I wept after reflecting upon a different song.  It’s a song that has grabbed my attention before.  But last night I realized why it ministers to me so much:

I hope that this ministers to you.  I pray that the way the Lord is comforting me will be a comfort to you.  It’s my prayer that as the Lord continues to heal my brokenness that he may also use it. 

If you read through this and cannot relate then that’s awesome.  Please allow me to give you a ministry tip.  You don’t heal a “creep” by convincing him you think he’s special.  You heal a “creep” by letting him know that the One who lifts up the sun, hangs the stars, and holds the universe lovingly knows the number of his hairs.  That heals brokenness. 

Originally posted here.

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Two years later I’m continuing to uncover even more about myself. And I’m finding that in every spot where there is brokenness the Lord is pushing through with His holiness and redemption.

All of this because I’m his adopted son. He won’t leave me reflecting my fallen identity. He won’t stop until I’m truly living in my new name.

Is the Fundamental Message of Jesus, Love and Tolerance?

I keep hearing that the fundamental message of Jesus was that of love and tolerance. Of course by “love and tolerance” what is meant is that Jesus affirms us as we are. His message is cast against the jerky Pharisees that were all concerned with truth and the Bible and stuff like that. Jesus taught that instead we ought to just love one another as we are.

Now don’t get me wrong. Jesus did teach love. Jesus is love. And he was also tolerant. Provided that you have the proper definition of tolerance. But is this really the central message of Jesus? I mean, if Jesus’ is preaching love and tolerance how does He say something like this:

“Do not think that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I have not come to bring peace, but a sword. For I have come to set a man against his father, and a daughter against her mother, and a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law. And a person's enemies will be those of his own household. –Mt. 10:34-36

“Simple”, says Jesus Seminar type folks. “It’s not part of the authentic message of Jesus”. The Jesus Seminar is old news, but it’s effects have trickled down into our culture and has even infiltrated our congregations. In case you aren’t familiar, the Jesus Seminar was a group of 150 critical scholars tasked with trying to separate the Christ of history with the Christ of faith. In other words these dudes are going to tell us which part of our Bible’s we ought to believe and which ones we shouldn’t.

The Black Beads

The ones that they voted on as authentic would receive a red bead. The ones that were positively not to be accepted got a black bead. (There were pink and grey beads for the possibilities in between). Guess which sayings of Jesus were the ones that got the red beads? I’ll give you a clue, Matthew 10:34-36 didn’t make the cut. The ones that did are the ones in which Jesus speaks of love and tolerance. Which have I mentioned is part of the message of Jesus?

The problem, though, is that what emerges from the Jesus Seminar—and any similar activity where we vote on Jesus—is that what emerges is not a Jesus that demands anything from us. What emerges is a Jesus of our own creation. That’s why I’m not shocked when people say they love Jesus but not the church. Of course they do, they created him. The church—that’s another thing altogether.

One Question

This leaves me with one question for Jesus Seminar type folks. Why do you suppose they crucified Jesus? Was it because they were stuck in their religiosity and they couldn’t handle his liberal and tolerant views? So, then, did the religious leaders drum up charges of heresy and blasphemy?

Of course the Scriptures say that he was crucified for saying things like, “Before Abraham was I AM”. But those Scriptures are certainly not authentic messages of Jesus. Which leads me to another question...(so I guess I have more than one). Why in the world did the followers of Jesus propagate the message that the Jewish religious leaders made up? Why were they also killed for teaching Jesus as the Messiah the rightful King of the Jews? Why do you suppose it took some 2000 years of church history before people would actually recover the authentic message of Jesus?

Isn’t it possible that the reason why Jesus was crucified, the reason why they picked up stones to do away with Him, was that He actually claimed to be God incarnate? You see the cultural Jesus—that preaches only love and tolerance is not any different than us and therefore demands nothing of us. The biblical Jesus, on the other hand, not only gets Himself crucified but bids His followers to come and die as well. And you don’t get that by teaching a love and tolerance which exalts man and demands nothing.

12 Ways to Serve Your Readers

This morning I noted that the word platform makes me cringe a little. I shared my philosophy to worry more about loving and serving my reader than building my platform. Here are 12 ways you can love and serve your readers:

1. Point to Jesus. Always.
2. Work hard.
3. Make them laugh.
4. Write to your audience and not someone else’s.
5. Don’t take yourself too seriously.
6. Respond to comments with gentleness and respect.
7. Don’t provoke them to sin by hosting needless controversy.
8. Listen to them.
9. Be vulnerable. If I’m struggling or asking a question someone else probably is too.
10. Be hospitable. none of this, “it’s my blog home, leave if you don’t like it”.
11. Quit when you’ve made your point

Is It Enough to Just Speak the Truth?

On the day of his first public service at St. Mary Woolnoth, John Newton explained to his hearers the truths that would inform his gospel ministry. They are evangelical and gospel-centered as to be expected with on like Newton. One thing, however, that I believe sets Newton apart as an exemplary example for us to follow. He believed that just speaking truth was not the whole of his duty:

But the cause of truth itself may be discredited by improper management; and, therefore, the Scripture which furnishes us with subject-matter for our ministry, and teaches us what we are to say, is equally explicit as to temper and spirit in which we are to speak. Though I had the knowledge of all mysteries, and the tongue of an angel to declare them, I could hope for little acceptance or usefulness, unless I was to speak “in love”.

I believe Newton is correct. Just speaking truthfully—even eloquently--about the great mysteries of our faith is not sufficient. Certainly the Lord is powerful and convert sinners using even the weakest means. But the apostolic method of preaching/pastoring/leading/living is to speak the truth in love. Both are necessary.

“Loving” people without speaking truth is a sham. At the same time, speaking truth without loving people is a mockery of Christ our example.

3 Ways to Encourage a Blogger

Faithful Blogging is hard work. I suppose about any goober could install Windows Live Writer and link it to a blogging platform like Blogger or WordPress and then set to typing up whatever random thing comes into his/her mind. But Christ-honoring mostly-daily blogging is hard work.

Blogging can be difficult and painful. Comments can be nasty. Words can be misunderstood. Articles that you worked your tail off on will usually disappear somewhere in Al Gore’s basement where he houses that computer that runs the entire internet.

Bloggers can get discouraged.

Therefore, I thought I would let you know 3 ways to encourage a blogger. Not because I am fishing for encouragement at present…wait a week or so, that way I don’t make the connection…but I am writing this article to help you encourage other bloggers. And you ought to do this if with those superhero bloggers.

These are in order, with #1 being the most encouraging (at least to me).

3. RT, Share, +1, link, etc. Whatever you use in social media use it to let others know that you were digging on an article. When our articles have more life than just a day it is encouraging. It’s the 21st century way of patting somebody on the back. If you like something you read hit the share button.

2. Post a thoughtful comment. Most people only comment when they want to either show how amazing their own knowledge of a subject is or to tell you that you are a moron and your children will probably turn out worse than Hitler. It’s nice to have people thoughtfully interact with something you wrote.

1. Tell us you are using it in the “real world”. Hands down the most encouraging comments and emails are the ones where somebody tells me they are using what I wrote for a bible study, a sermon, a discipleship group, etc. When somebody hits print on an article and turns it into a hard copy that means something to me. It communicates that the article was useful enough for them to want to keep around for awhile.

My overarching aim for blogging isn’t to simply get traffic or have people say, “wow Mike sure did a great job in writing this article”. My aim is that people would be helped because their joy in Jesus has grown because of something that I wrote. There are ton of other bloggers with the same aim—encourage them by specifically letting them know that they helped you delight in Christ.  

If you are a blogger, what encourages you?

If you are not a blogger but you benefit from reading blogs, I encourage you to think of a few bloggers and make it your aim to strengthen his/her day by sending a little word of encouragement.

The Summit of Love

The church at Ephesus was a doctrinally solid church. It also had endured a great amount of hardship. They had remained faithful in the midst of false teachers. In our wishy-washy lite on truth society the church at Ephesus would have been a welcome sight. Yet, in the eyes of Jesus they were missing the mark:

But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first. (Revelation 2:4 ESV)

Scholars debate whether this is love for the Lord or love for one another. I agree with those that believe it is probably a combination of both. Biblically speaking the two often go hand in hand. You can’t love the Lord and hate his bride. Likewise you aren’t going to be lacking in love for Jesus but exploding in love for his broken bride. The doctrinally sound church at Ephesus was missing an awe of God. Perhaps they had gotten to a point where they equated believing correct doctrine with treasuring correct doctrine.

Jesus tells them that the prescription for this lack of love is to remember, repent, and to get back to doing the works that they did at first. In this statement in verse 5 I find something very interesting. In verse 5 Jesus says, “remember therefore from where you have fallen”.

That tells me something about correct doctrine and endurance; namely, they aren’t the summit. Love is. (Or at least love is higher than both of those). Otherwise their lack of love wouldn’t have been a height from which they could fall. Love is not optional to correct doctrine. It’s not the icing on the cake of having sound theology. If you don’t have love then your whole cake is jacked up. 

Why does doctrine matter?

From such a truth some have erroneously concluded that doctrine really doesn’t matter. The only thing that matters is love. To this I say “poppycock”. Or at least I would if I said things like “poppycock”.

In Paul’s prayer for the Philippians he prays that their “love may abound more and more” and that it might do so “with knowledge and all discernment”. (Philippians 1:9) In other words Paul prays that they might have a growing love that is grounded in the truth.

You do not get to the summit of love without correct doctrine to fuel you upwards. Your love for Jesus grows when your grasping of the truth of Jesus grows. The argument from many of Paul’s letters is that there is an intimate link between our seeing and beholding Christ (doctrine) and our treasuring of Christ and His people (love).

You cannot treasure what you have little knowledge of. My son thinks that baseball is pretty cool. But he also still will sometimes run to second base before first base. Or he’ll think that the goal of the game is to tackle the pitcher after you’ve hit the ball. It’s a pretty cool version of the sport, I’ll give him that, but he doesn’t understand baseball and therefore he doesn’t rightly know how to treasure it. It’s the same way with Jesus. Correct doctrine fuels love. Or at least it ought to…

What does this mean for the local church?

I would like to also ask, “what does this mean for seminaries”, but because I have about as much influence on seminary life as Justin Bieber does on making solid music I will stick to the local church. I will say though, that I believe many seminaries err in training pastors how to have correct doctrine but seldom challenging them to learn love.

In the local church we must disciple people not only with correct doctrine but with a heart that treasures Christ. At the end of the day this is all the work of the Spirit. Even being able to swallow, embrace, and treasure correct doctrine is a work of the Spirit. How much more then is it the work of the Spirit to cause people to respond to correct doctrine with worship and and a life of love?

How does the church keep from churning out theological dolts and/or loveless theology nerds? I believe it’s by continually exposing them to the word of God while modeling humility and pushing them towards that. When discipling others we must value truth and excel in love.

Some need to be reminded that they haven’t arrived simply because they can win games of Bible trivia or go toe to toe in theology discussions with a seminary professor. They need to be reminded that doctrine truly embraced will express itself in worship of God and humble and loving service in a local church.

Others need to be reminded that if their doctrine is shallow more than likely so is their love. They ought to be congratulated that they are excelling in love but spurred on to make that love more grounded in the unchangeable truth of Jesus.

Both must, through the power of the Spirit, aim for the summit of love.

Retracing Steps

I know you are enduring patiently and bearing up for my name’s sake, and you have not grown weary.  But I have this against you, that you have abandoned the love you had at first.  (Revelation 2:3-4)

The word “abandoned” might be a little strong for what is going on in my heart but I certainly feel the weight of Revelation 2:3-4.  A couple of years ago the Lord absolutely shook up and rocked our little world when he moved my wife and I from our 6 year home of First Baptist New London.  With great confidence we sensed the Lord moving us to attend seminary at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary in Louisville, Kentucky.

And so with great hope and a vision in our minds we moved our 2 year old son two states East.  We were excited about living and ministering in Louisville, KY.  6 months later we were packing our bags and moving 75 miles West to serve a church in Jasper, Indiana. 

I’m a different man than I was 3 years ago.  I’m not dead, far from it, I’m just not where I want to be.  I feel like a kid trying to celebrate his first Christmas with the knowledge that Santa Claus is really your dad.  I can feel myself slowly drifting, losing wonder, losing awe, losing hope. 

And so I sat in our sanctuary for a good while this morning just praying.  Praying over the church.  Praying over my own soul, and the Lord deeply impressed me with a conviction that two things need to happen.  First, a minister without awe is a sham and if it persists his “lampstand” will be removed.  Second, I need to retrace my steps and “remember therefore from where you have fallen; repent, and do the works you did at first”. 

My Response

I am very grateful for the Spirit’s work.  I am glad that he is warning me and exhorting me well before I “hit rock bottom”.  I am glad that his intention in rebuking me is to make beauty from ashes.  I am glad that the only reason why he awakens a desire for more and more of Him is because He intends to fill it with His fullness. 

So, in response to the Lord’s calling I am retracing my steps.  There are five things that I plan to do to retrace my steps:

1. Read 3-4 books that really stirred and shaped me 3 plus years ago.
2. Block out a more intentioned time for prayer each day
3. Restart McCheyne’s bible reading program. 
4. Watch a couple sermons per week
5. Spend time with the JoAnn’s of the world*

Notice that most of what I am doing is putting myself under the ministry of the Word and prayer.  What restores passion is being held captive by Christ and His Word.  That happens when we put ourselves under the ministry of the Spirit through the Word and prayer. 

May the Lord continue to increase my passion.  And continually mold me into a “life-giving preacher”:

The life-giving preacher is a man of God, whose heart is ever athirst for God, whose soul is ever following hard after God, whose eye is single to God, and in whom by the power of God’s Spirit the flesh and the world have been crucified and his ministry is like the generous flood of a life-giving river.  (Piper, Brothers We Are Not Professionals, 3)

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*JoAnn is a dear elderly woman at our church that exudes a love for Christ.  Just hearing her pray sounds like overhearing a conversation between a woman and her husband away on a business trip.  Everyone needs to be surrounded by people like her. 

A Disciple, Husband, Daddy, Pastors Confession of Need for Gospel Joy

…how greatly would they prize the gospel, which alone can support us in the day of trouble, or even enable us to find satisfaction in a state of prosperity!  (John Newton in a Letter to the Rev. William Howell)

It takes the gospel to sustain you in a day of trouble.  You passed over that statement didn’t you?  It’s a duh.  It’s a sentence that you skim.  You may forget that at times, but for the most part in the midst of “trouble” you know that the only thing that will sustain you is the gospel. 

It takes the gospel to enable you to find satisfaction in a state of prosperity.  If you are like me, this statement causes you to pause.  Maybe I am extra sensitive to this statement because of something the Lord is doing in my life right now.  At present I am feeling some of the bitter fruit of a self-absorbed and cold heart. 

My legalism, techniques, and biblical principles only last for so long.  I’ve been exposed.  It is with great pain that I have had to confess something that has long bubbled in the darkness.  I do not love my wife and children, as I ought.  They know this.  They feel this.  I know this.  I feel this. 

Of course I do love my wife and children more than I do anyone else.  But they do not need me to love them more than grapefruit or some drunken uncle.  I am called to love my kids with a God the Father type love and to love my wife with a Jesus sacrificing type of love.  I’m called by God to delight in my family. 

And that is where I am broken.  I could do duty.  I can buy flowers.  I can follow the 10 steps to discipling your children.  I can tell them about Jesus.  I can read the Bible with my wife.  I can hang out and watch television.  I can, for the most part, fake it.  But what I cannot make myself do is truly delight in them the way the Lord calls me to.   

That stinks. It exposes my heart.  Part of the consequence of my rebellion is that I have a numb heart that seems to only be slowly growing in Jesus.  I have a really hard time enjoying sunsets.  You show me a rose and my eyes gravitate to the thorn.  I want this redeemed. 

All of this is why Newton’s words here stopped me dead in my tracks.  I’ve been battling this for a long time.  I cannot seem to make myself have joy and to treasure and enjoy the things that I ought.  I try to do stuff but I know in my heart that I’m not really being a joyful giver.  It’s empty. 

I daily feel these words of Augustine.  Not only as it relates to God but also to my family:

I was astonished that although I now loved you…I did not persist in enjoyment of my God.  Your beauty drew me to you, but soon I was dragged away from you by my own weight and in dismay I plunged again into the things of this world…as though I had sensed the fragrance of the fare but was not yet able to eat it.

And so I pray…

Lord, captivate my heart.  I want to enjoy Your roses.  I want to enjoy Your sunsets.  I want to enjoy the children that You have given me.  I want to enjoy the wife that You have given to me.  Not with some vague worldly love like a drunken guy with mustard stains on his wife-beater cheering for the Red Sox, but with a love that springs from your radiant love.  Make my love beautiful.  I know the gospel sustains me in darkness, open my eyes to the gospel provision of joy.  Awaken my dullness.

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When this article posts I will be in TN with my wife celebrating our anniversary.  I realize the “irony” of posting this on my anniversary.  But it actually shows the value of marriage.  I doubt this would be a battle that I was fighting if I lived in my mom’s basement playing XBox 360 all day.  This is a battle because of love.  This is part of the reason God gave me my wife to enjoy.  He uses her for my holiness (and vice versa).  I am eternally grateful for her in my life.  God is using her to root out sin and unbelief and replace it with real God-honoring joy. 

The Cost of Not Loving

Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken.  If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal.  Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries, avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness.  But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change.  It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.  The alternative to tragedy, or at least to the risk of tragedy, is damnation.  --C.S. Lewis

In other words, coffins might keep the dirt out but eventually you’re going to lose sunshine, beauty, hugs, and even life itself. 

Why 1 Corinthians 13:1-3 Has Been Rocking My Soul

It was just another Sunday and we were playing one of countless videos for the Lottie Moon offering (at least I think that’s what it was). Maybe it was a video about Loving Muslims, I can’t remember. But it caught my attention. Not the video. I have no idea what it was about. One of the missionaries is what caught my eye; or rather my heart.

I have no way of actually knowing what was going on in his heart at the time, but from all appearances it seemed as if he was a man that deeply loved the Lord and loved people. You could see it in the glimmer in his eyes. It wasn’t that he was “loving people” because that’s what he was supposed to do. No, I think he really loved these people, because he’s spent some serious time with Jesus.

The missionary was laughing and joyously interacting with people of whom he probably only shared a handful of words. Words didn’t matter. Love did. And it was their shared smiles that the Lord used to break my crusty heart and reopen it towards love.

In a whirlwind as my eyes fixated on the missionaries smiling face, the Lord spoke to my heart saying, “you don’t love people”, while simultaneously drawing my attention to the first three verses of 1 Corinthians 13.

If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have prophetic powers, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing.

Reading it in the Message really drove the point home:

If I speak with human eloquence and angelic ecstasy but don't love, I'm nothing but the creaking of a rusty gate. ²If I speak God's Word with power, revealing all his mysteries and making everything plain as day, and if I have faith that says to a mountain, "Jump," and it jumps, but I don't love, I'm nothing. ³If I give everything I own to the poor and even go to the stake to be burned as a martyr, but I don't love, I've gotten nowhere. So, no matter what I say, what I believe, and what I do, I'm bankrupt without love

That means all of the work I put into being a good writer…bankrupt without love.

All of my effort at honing my pastoral skills…bankrupt without love.

Books.  Knowledge.  Seminary education.  Study of church history…bankrupt without love.

Bankrupt without love.

Jesus, help me love.

Knowing the Creep’s Name

Driving to class this morning I was rocking out to 100.5 Gen-X (Hopefully, it’s okay that I listen to secular music on my way to seminary).  One of my favorite songs from my teenage years came on, Creep by Radiohead:

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

Chorus:

But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

She's running out again
She's running out
She run, run, run run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

In the original version of this song the word “very” is replaced by the F-bomb.  This is an angry song about a young man that has a crush on a girl but he really does not feel like he is good enough for her.  At the end of the day he wishes that he was special like her.  “I want you to notice when I’m not around” is perhaps the most telling lyric.  This young man feels insignificant and unnoticed.  He would sacrifice his own identity just to be someone that would be liked. 

This song is the cry of my generation.  At least it is the cry of my own heart.  Growing up I always felt this way.  Maybe it was the necessary result of being a short kid with big ears and glasses.  Maybe it has deeper familial issues at the core.  I feel this song.  Check that, I felt this song. 

Actually my wife and I had a conversation about this last night.  Since my identity is being rocked to the core right now—rewind about 6 months and you will see why—we have these conversations often. 

For most of my life I have had a deep desire to be noticed.  Not necessarily in a “look at me, I’m the center of attention” type of way.  More so in a, “Hi, Mike I’m glad that you exist” type of way.  For years I killed parts of me that were “unacceptable”.  I became whatever people wanted me to be.  “Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want”. 

Thankfully, God is healing me.  Last night I wept after reflecting upon a different song.  It’s a song that has grabbed my attention before.  But last night I realized why it ministers to me so much:

I hope that this ministers to you.  I pray that the way the Lord is comforting me will be a comfort to you.  It’s my prayer that as the Lord continues to heal my brokenness that he may also use it. 

If you read through this and cannot relate then that’s awesome.  Please allow me to give you a ministry tip.  You don’t heal a “creep” by convincing him you think he’s special.  You heal a “creep” by letting him know that the One who lifts up the sun, hangs the stars, and holds the universe lovingly knows the number of his hairs.  That heals brokenness. 

Deadly to Faith

After contemplating on a recent visit from a missionary John Bloom posts these sobering and true reflections:

The New Testament teaches us that whether or not our treasure is really in heaven is most clearly seen when it costs us our earthly treasures in order to obtain it. But American Christians live in the most prosperous nation in world history and the one in which it costs the least to be a Christian.

This environment can be deadly to faith. It allows false faith to masquerade as real very easily. And its power to dissipate zeal and energy and mission-focus and willingness to risk is extraordinary because it doesn't come to us with a whip and a threat. It comes to us with a pillow and a promise of comfort for us and our children. The former makes us desperate for God. The latter robs our sense of desperation.

And it's the lack of a sense of desperation for God that is so deadly. If we don't feel desperate for God, we don't tend to cry out to him. Love for this present world sets in subtly, like a spiritual leprosy, damaging spiritual nerve endings so that we don't feel the erosion and decay happening until it's too late.

Read the rest…

When Remembrance of Sins is a Means for Joy

In a letter to a man that had asked whether the sins of believers shall be publicly declared at the Great Day, Newton responded in part:

I think those are the sweetest moments in this life, when we have the clearest sense of our own sins, provided the sense of our acceptance in the Beloved is proportionally clear, and we feel the consolations of his love, notwithstanding all our transgressions. When we arrive in glory, unbelief and fear will cease forever: our nearness to God, and communion with him, will be unspeakably beyond what we can now conceive. Therefore the remembrance of our sins will be no abatement of our bliss, but rather the contrary.

You can read the entire letter here. 

I think Newton gets this idea from the sinful woman in Luke 7:36-50.  The more we come to grips with our sinfulness, the more they too become a cause for rejoicing.  We have been forgiven much; few people understood this as deeply as John Newton.  May the Lord cause us to rejoice that even the darkest of sins cannot separate us from His love. 

Charles Simeon’s “Rules for Himself”

In preparing for a lesson on 1 Corinthians 13 I skipped across this by Charles Simeon out of a Robert Rayburn sermon:

1. To hear as little as possible what is the prejudice of others; 2. To believe nothing of the kind till I am absolutely forced to it; 3. Never to drink into the spirit of one who circulates an ill report; 4. Always to moderate, as far as I can, the unkindness which is expressed toward others; 5. Always to believe, that if the other side were heard, a very different account would be given of the matter.

This certainly would go far in building up the body of Christ if these rules were observed. If you are unfamiliar with the life and ministry of Simeon I would suggest reading John Piper’s excellent biography. You can also buy Piper’s Roots of Endurance book.