The Gift of Honest Psalms for Our Broken Lives

I’ve decided to ask a few people to write occasional articles for me to use at Borrowed Light. Today’s guest post comes from Brian Phillips. Brian lives in Granada, Spain with his wife and three kids. You can find him at www.briankassie.com or www.twitter.com/BrianPhillips31

Zack Eswine’s, Sensing Jesus, has been a blessing to me in a strange way. Although geared twoards pastors (which I am not), Eswine’s story and pastoral kindness are exactly the words I’ve needed to hear lately.

My family and I live overseas and we’re here to share the love of Jesus with people. Recently, we visited America to celebrate the wedding of my wife’s sister. While there many difficult things happened—the worst being the death of our unborn baby in miscarriage. We came back to Spain, where we live, feeling torn and empty. We’ve been imperfectly, but earnestly, turning to God our Father for help, healing, and comfort. Personally, in addition to grief, I’ve been fighting some troubling anxiety and racing thoughts in the last several weeks.

So, I recently cracked open Sensing Jesus, a Christmas present, which I expected to coach me into more apt ministry leadership and spiritual depth. Maybe it will do that; I still have the second half of the book to finish. But so far it’s simply healing my soul.

The greatest comfort for me has been in Eswine’s chapter entitled, Fix-It-All. Here he confronts our tendency to try to fix anything. In this chapter there is a section on psalm making. Here he uses David’s example to show how we can use the Psalms to turn to God in prayer, rather than our fleshly efforts “when the going gets tough and unfixable” (p. 111).

Here are the Psalms Eswine shares, followed by a little bit of personal commentary from me.

Deliver me from my enemies, O my God;

Protect me from those who rise up against me. . . .

Each evening they come back,

Howling like dogs

And prowling about the city. . . .

But I will sing of your strength;

I will sing aloud of your steadfast love in the morning.

For you have been to me a fortress,

And a refuge in the day of my distress. (Ps. 59:1, 6, 14, 16)

As anxiety and uncontrolled nightmares taunted me, I felt under attack and powerless. Some nights, I could only fall asleep by whispering, “Jesus, me near me,” over and over and over. And he was. Hope has been new each morning. Even when the things I could count on or control crumbled and proved unfixable, God stayed with me.

Have mercy on me, O God,

According to your steadfast love;

According to your abundant mercy

Blot out my transgressions.

Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity

And cleanse me from my sin! (Ps. 51:1-2)

I know, as a Christian, that Jesus has taken all my punishment forever. There is none left for me. My wife and I didn’t lose this baby because God wanted to slap our wrists for a sin. But as the weeks went by and the wounds weren’t as raw, I began to ask God to show me where I wasn’t trusting him, where I was trying to be my own savior and god – and he shone the light on my anxiety and worry. Some of this is a natural physiological response to the unbelievable shock and stress from our trip, but some of it (I can now admit) was me, trusting in my own power, bucking against my inability to control and fix my broken life.

O Lord, all my longing is before you;

My sighing is not hidden from you.

My heart throbs; my strength fails me,

And the light of my eyes—it has also gone from me. . . .

But I am like a deaf man; I do not hear,

Like a mute man who does not open his mouth. . . .

But for you, O Lord, do I wait;

It is you, O Lord my God, who will answer. (Ps. 38:9-10, 13, 15)

This pain doesn’t have to end in my lifetime. We won’t ‘get over’ all the things that happened during those three weeks in America, as if that were a healthy goal anyway. But, the fear and the loneliness can go; God can take the numbness and the heightened stress with him.

We are children whose loving father knows all their fears and wounds, and he stays with us. He doesn’t just fix the mess as quickly or the way we might ask him to. Instead, he stays with us and slowly-- morning by morning-- he shares with us his peace and rest.

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You can read my review of Sensing Jesus here, and purchase it here.

When You Feel Abandoned by God

It might seem strange counsel but I believe people that are often discouraged and prone to negative thinking need to hear things like this:

God has not abandoned any of us any more than he abandoned Job. He never abandons anyone on whom he has set his love; nor does Christ, the good shepherd, ever lose track of his sheep. It is as false as it is irreverent to accuse God of forgetting, or overlooking, or losing interest in, the state and needs of his own people. If you have been resigning yourself to the thought that God has left you high and dry, seek grace to be ashamed of yourself. Such unbelieving pessimism deeply dishonors our great God and Savior. (J.I. Packer, Knowing God, 88-89)

Doesn’t it feel like we’ve been abandoned at times, though? Doesn’t it feel as if we can pray Psalm 22: “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me”?

Packer himself likely had times of feeling “left high and dry”. As he recalls in his latest work, Weakness is the Way, Packer was a “solitary and rather somber child”. He “had to wear at school, for ten years, a black aluminum patch covering a hole in [his] head…and hence was unable to play outdoor games.” This, Packer says, left him “feeling out of most of what mattered”. He likely felt Psalm 22;

Forsaken.

Groaning.

Lonely.

Silent.

Scorned.

Mocked.

Weak…

Now to really feel Psalm 22 we have to feel it in its entirety. And that is what the above Packer quote is referencing. It’s right—and in fact quite like Christ—to express Psalm 22:1. But if you leave it there—without embracing the redemption of Psalm 22—you are accusing God of being less than He is.

Though we are the afflicted and we feel that in our bones, at the same time faith beckons us to cry out, “The afflicted shall eat and be satisfied.” Yes, this is true. I know it to be true because Jesus has fulfilled Psalm 22.

And because of this I know that the Great Shepherd will never abandon his sheep…including me. Even if I have engaged in the “unbelieving pessimism” that “deeply dishonors our great God and Savior”.

Jesus is just that great.

An Unhealthy Focus on Weakness

My son is a pretty decent baseball player…for a five year old.

He’d rather me not have added those last five words. He wants to be, at the age of five, a better baseball player than the guys that he watches on television with his daddy*. But he’s not. And this makes him really angry and sometimes even makes him want to give up altogether.

When he falls to the ground and cries because he strikes out I want to pick him up and say, “Dude, you’re five. Suck it up, you’re gonna strike out.”

I think the Lord says something similar to me at times. “Dude, you’ve been plucked out of the fire. What did you expect? Suck it up, you’re going to blow it in your discipleship. You aren’t Jesus, you’re going to blow it at times in your ministry. Get over it!”

When I assume that I should have arrived by now, my pride is exposed. John Newton explains well:

Why then should you complain that you are not so tall, nor your branches so wide, nor your root so deep, in two years’ growth, as others who have been growing twenty or thirty years?…Do not let Satan impose a false humility upon you. Depend upon it there is more of self and self-righteousness in these complaints, than we are usually aware of. It is better to be thankful for what you have received than impatient because you have no more. If you can make yourself better, do it by all means; but if you cannot, wait simply the Lord’s time, at the Lord’s feet. If you heart is upright, you have only to attend to the means and precepts of grace.

An unhealthy focus on our depravity and weaknesses is unhealthy. Satan is more than happy to have us licking our wounds if it distracts us from finding true redemption and healing in Jesus. That is what Newton is saying here. Our duty is to run to Christ and be diligently engaged in the disciplines which put us in the path of grace. Whining about our lack of grace in an area does very little to help us.

Newton went on to say, “one look at the brazen serpent will do more than a month of looking at our own wounds”. Being focused on our rebellion, remaining sin, inadequacies, and personal brokenness is to foolishly stare at the conquered serpent instead of rejoicing in the conquering work of the One that represents the brazen serpent.

Diligently pursue Christ and be content with where he has you.

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*Granted, since we watch the Kansas City Royals the bar is much lower and he is actually quite close to the talent level of some.

Knowing the Creep’s Name…Two Years Later

Our sermon this morning was on Romans 8:12-17. Tonight in our Life Groups we will talk even more about the beauty of adoption. All of this reminded me of something amazing the Lord was doing in my life a couple years ago.

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Driving to class this morning I was rocking out to 100.5 Gen-X (Hopefully, it’s okay that I listen to secular music on my way to seminary).  One of my favorite songs from my teenage years came on, Creep by Radiohead:

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

Chorus:

But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

She's running out again
She's running out
She run, run, run run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

In the original version of this song the word “very” is replaced by the F-bomb.  This is an angry song about a young man that has a crush on a girl but he really does not feel like he is good enough for her.  At the end of the day he wishes that he was special like her.  “I want you to notice when I’m not around” is perhaps the most telling lyric.  This young man feels insignificant and unnoticed.  He would sacrifice his own identity just to be someone that would be liked. 

This song is the cry of my generation.  At least it is the cry of my own heart.  Growing up I always felt this way.  Maybe it was the necessary result of being a short kid with big ears and glasses.  Maybe it has deeper familial issues at the core.  I feel this song.  Check that, I felt this song. 

Actually my wife and I had a conversation about this last night.  Since my identity is being rocked to the core right now—rewind about 6 months and you will see why—we have these conversations often. 

For most of my life I have had a deep desire to be noticed.  Not necessarily in a “look at me, I’m the center of attention” type of way.  More so in a, “Hi, Mike I’m glad that you exist” type of way.  For years I killed parts of me that were “unacceptable”.  I became whatever people wanted me to be.  “Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want”.

Thankfully, God is healing me.  Last night I wept after reflecting upon a different song.  It’s a song that has grabbed my attention before.  But last night I realized why it ministers to me so much:

I hope that this ministers to you.  I pray that the way the Lord is comforting me will be a comfort to you.  It’s my prayer that as the Lord continues to heal my brokenness that he may also use it. 

If you read through this and cannot relate then that’s awesome.  Please allow me to give you a ministry tip.  You don’t heal a “creep” by convincing him you think he’s special.  You heal a “creep” by letting him know that the One who lifts up the sun, hangs the stars, and holds the universe lovingly knows the number of his hairs.  That heals brokenness. 

Originally posted here.

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Two years later I’m continuing to uncover even more about myself. And I’m finding that in every spot where there is brokenness the Lord is pushing through with His holiness and redemption.

All of this because I’m his adopted son. He won’t leave me reflecting my fallen identity. He won’t stop until I’m truly living in my new name.

Truths in the Midst of Brokenness

When I go through a period where my brokenness seems to shine brighter than my redemption, I try to remember these truths*:

• He knows what I need (Matthew 6:8)…even when I haven’t a clue.
• It is His character to generously give (James 1:5)…even when I’m most undeserving.
• He didn’t spare His Son for me (Romans 8:32)…even though I didn’t ask Him to, or desire for Him to do this.
• He has provided the Spirit to intercede on my behalf when I don’t have the words to pray (Romans 8:26)…and even when my emotions don’t know how to feel.
• He promises we will lack no good thing (Psalm 34:9-10)…even though I cry out that I’m empty.
• He knows my frame, he remembers that I’m dust (Psalm 103:14)…in the times when I feel lower than dirt or more confident than I ought.
• He doesn’t break bruised reeds, or quench smoldering wicks (Matthew 12:20)…even if that is exactly what I would do.
• No one can snatch me out of His hand (John 10:28-29)…even if I try to leap out of His grasp.
• He is not ashamed to call me brother, or son (Hebrews 2:11, Romans 8:15) …even when I feel bastardly
• He has brought me near by His blood and placed me into His family, His body, His church (Ephesians 2:11-22)…even when I’m the crazy uncle.

These are but a few of the truths that I cling to. It’s a great reminder that it little matters what I write on the other side of those periods. It is as Bunyan said, “I saw that it is not my good frame of heart that made my righteousness better, nor yet my bad frame that made my righteousness worse, for my righteousness IS Christ.”

I’m glad to have an anchor.

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*These are worded in an individualistic way because I have found that to be most helpful. If I say “us, you, them” then I don’t personalize them and I assume that the promises are for someone else.

Why Ministers Need the Wilderness

“It takes a crucified man to preach a crucified Savior.” –Alexander Maclaren

“I abhor the thought of God being robbed of his glory…” That was part of the response that a young man was giving in one of my seminary classes. I shudder as I type the latter part of his comment. “…and if that means the damnation of infants then so be it”.

It’s not my concern to throw this dude under the bus. Truthfully, I see some of myself in him. Getting so wrapped in theology, idealism, and the way things ought to be that I forget the way that things actually are. Grace will likely grab hold of this young man and transform him. Jesus has a way of doing that. While we roll our eyes at statements like this (and maybe rightly so) Jesus moves in and administers grace. Grace that crushes…but grace still.

I was concerned that day as I thought about this young man pastoring a church. I was worried for him and for his congregation. Mostly because broken men don’t say things like that. Even if it were theologically true, broken men just don’t speak like that. As I’ve gone through seminary for a few years now I am becoming convinced that students should have to spend at least one semester in the furnace of suffering before we can graduate.

Jesus was 30…

And he didn’t start his public ministry until he was in the wilderness. The wilderness is necessary. As are the wilderness temptations. There in his, dare I say, weakness, Jesus was confronted with the full onslaught of hell.

• Would he trust in God’s sufficient Word or would he rely on a quicker fix?
• Would he plod along God’s redemptive (though rocky) road or would he sell-out to the flash?
• Would he remain faithful to serving the Lord, careful to follow the God-ordained means or would he take the shortcut with no suffering?

Jesus conquered Gethsemane and embraced the Cross because he had already won that victory in the wilderness. The same applies to ministers today. It is in the wilderness that we learn to rely upon the Lord, to trust His narrow and often frightening path.

A broken minister

When the Lord bruises a man in the wilderness he doesn’t hide behind “correct theology” and call it “just speaking the truth”. He, with dust in his throat, simply holds the hand of the mother who lost her infant. He weeps with her. With nothing to say. No sermon to give. No lesson to be learned. No pontificating about the Lord’s glory. A broken man knows how to be silent and speak with only his empathetic brokenness.

Seminaries and churches that are training ministers ought to be careful about unleashing an unbroken man onto a congregation. Put him in the wilderness for awhile. Ministers need the wilderness.

The Church Going Full Ninja

I had to have wasted a good hour.

It was my first experience—at least that I recall—with a powerful sunbeam. I pondered the impact that this ray of light had upon our home. Its brightness exposed all of these little creatures. They looked like sea monkeys. Or floating pieces of dirt. They would soon take on a life of their own.

I experimented with these dust fragments for all of five minutes. Then I did what all little boys do when confronted with invaders; I busted out my sweet ninja moves. I employed karate chop after karate chop to destroy these little minions bombarding our kitchen floor.

I lost.

Quite shamefully really. It didn’t matter how much effort I put forth, I never could conquer these dust particles. As soon as I roundhouse kicked one in the face a million others came through the open window, dive-bombing down a sun-beam and gleefully sabotaging our kitchen floor.

After an embarrassingly long time I discovered the solution. Somehow the sun was giving these little goobers their energy. I quickly learned that if I could block the sun it would kill these dust particles. I shut the curtain.

Game Over. No more tiny creatures taunting me with their invincibility.

The Church

As I reminisce about my youthful ignorance I cannot help but think about the church. It seems as if we spend a good amount of our energies trying to clean up these dust particles; namely, all the brokenness around us. That’s good and well. We ought to be engaged in bringing the transformation of Jesus into the lives of every sphere of brokenness and rebellion.

But, let’s be honest. Little boys trying to annihilate dust particles with karate chops is impossible. Then again, so is it impossible for the church to ultimately conquer her sin this side of glory. Is it possible that in our discouragement with attempting the impossible that we have succumbed to the quick fix of shutting the curtain?

Have we convinced ourselves that we have gotten rid of sin for the most part but all we have really done is close the curtain? And by “close the curtain” I mean that we’ve somehow shut out the penetrating and heart-searching work of Jesus.

Maybe safe and sanitized does not equal a church that has been rocked by Jesus. It might mean that in her apathy the church has simply closed the curtain. The ugliness is still there but it’s largely hidden. She’s comfortably sanitized herself from outward brokenness but for some reason Jesus seems gone too.

The mark of a church that is being rocked by Jesus is one that has the curtain wide open. For that reason it is probably going to look more sinful and more jacked up. The light of the gospel exposes what is hidden—even those little dust particles that we’d like to pretend aren’t there.

A biblical church doesn’t celebrate the exposure of sin. A biblical church rejoices at the heart-penetrating work of Jesus but then she gets busy karate chopping the dickens out of the sin that is exposed. Of course by “karate chopping the dickens” I mean nothing more than applying the gospel and all it’s power and benefits to the sin that has been exposed.

Let’s open up that curtain and get to choppin’

When God Is Your Problem

Yesterday I preached on our need to humble ourselves under the mighty hand of God instead of resorting to a comfortable dualism in the midst of profound brokenness.  If I had rap skills like the Ambassador or mad preaching skills like Pastor Eric Mason I would have done this:

That is rich.  Here are the full lyrics:

...A lot people blame a lot of things on Satan.
It's easy to deal with the reality of the fact that Satan is against you and all that stuff, and he's your problem. But there's a whole other category and issue to let sink into you, when it's not Satan who's your problem, but God who's your problem. Listen, if you're going to walk in the implications of the gospel then you're going to have to be married to the principle of brokenness.
Brokenness is the mark of a person that is qualified to be used by God. At the end of the day people that are actually being used by God in a crazy way- in an off the meter way, are people that have been cracked up, who have been lunged at by God, and God has done something to them. Broken can mean:
Shattered,
Crushed,
Maimed,
Devoid of arrogance,
Wounded,
Contrite,
Injured,
Smashed,
Grieved,
Anxious,
Distressed,
Crippled,
Wrecked,
Demolished,
Fractured,
Handicapped,
Disabled.
Brokenness, based on the scriptures: The spiritual state by which one is disarmed of one's self-dependence and pride, therefore leaving one disabled and in desperate need of help, thereby making one a viable conduit for the glory of Christ.

Yes, We’re Worse Than Broken; But I Still Use the Term. Response To Randy Newman

It was with great joy that I read and reviewed Randy Newman’s book, Bringing the Gospel Home.  There was one spot however that gave me pause.  In his book Newman argues that, “if a tract or online presentation of the gospel only refers to our sin as ‘brokenness,’ we are misrepresenting the truth.”  Newman then argues that using terms like brokenness makes it sound as if we are only victims when really we are the ones in rebellion and given over to idolatry. 

Late last week Newman expounded upon this point in his article “We’re Worse Than Broken”.  He believes that the word is not helpful for believers or unbelievers.  For the believer, Newman says, “the word doesn’t go deep enough to move us forward in sanctification”.  He points out that God uses words far worse than broken to describe our lost condition. 

This word is also inadequate in sharing the gospel with unbelievers, says Newman.  It is inadequate because it fails “to convey the dire straights that only the gospel overcomes”.  Newman helpfully notes that

…the Bible’s description of sin is far more active than passive, more something we do—willingly, rebelliously, idolatrously, and knowingly—rather than something perpetrated upon us by others against our will, contrary to our nature, or different from our cravings.

To this end Newman believes that we should chose our words more carefully.  Using a term like “brokenness”, in his opinion, leads to a “reduction of the full and multifaceted concept of sin, as it is described in the Scriptures, into a buzzword that feels more at home in our therapeutic culture than in God’s Word”

Response

In one sense I agree with Randy Newman.  We must be very cautious not to diminish the multifaceted concept of sin for the sake of using buzzwords that are acceptable in a therapeutic culture.  He is also correct in noting that brokenness often makes people feel more like victims than active rebels.  So I agree that we should be cautious in using the word brokenness. 

However, I do continue to use the word.  I continue to use the word for two primary reasons.  First, I use it precisely because it actually does help me to explain a robust biblical theology and the multifaceted concept of sin. 

To be broken means in part that something is not functioning properly—it is out of working order.  To say then that people are “broken” means that people are not functioning properly.  In order for something to be “broken” this implies that something was once functioning properly.  This allows us to begin the gospel with God and His creation. 

God lovingly created us in His image to display His glory through our enjoyment of Him.  And because of this great truth we can say that each person has great value, great responsibility, and great accountability to God. 

It is only through the lens of Eden that we can even come close to understanding the depth of our fall.  Zac Eswine helpfully states that, “without placing our sin into the context of our having been created, we discard vital aspects of the beauty of redemption”.  That is one reason that I continue to use words like “brokenness”: to show that we are not functioning the way that God created us.  We are broken people living in a broken world. 

Secondly, I use that word because people feel broken.  Newman admits this much when he says:

Our experience of alienation from God does indeed feel like we’re broken. We’re not living the lives we were created for. We’re not connecting with others with the level of intimacy we were designed for. We’re cut off from the kind of connectedness with God that he intended.

My contention is that we should continue to use a word like broken but define it using a biblical paradigm.  Certainly we should not present a gospel that makes people passive victims.  But we can explain their feelings of brokenness by saying, “yes, you and I are broken—let me explain why I say that…” 

Terms like “brokenness” can be a huge bridge to sharing the gospel with someone.  It can easily help us explain creation, fall, and redemption.  I agree that it is not a synonym to “sinful”.  But it is still a helpful word and does not necessarily mean that one is watering down the gospel. 

Please…Don’t Ignore Me!!!

Are you paying attention to this article?  I sure hope you are.  I mean I REALLY hope that you read this an pay attention.  Not because I particularly care about you, and not even because I really care about Jesus.  I hope you read this article because it helps me to bow to my idol: His name is attention.

I could maybe blame other people for this “good desire” gone bad.  Maybe I developed this really strong desire because I found myself miserably alone and ignored in grade school.  Maybe it has something to do with my family of origin.  I could mention quite a few other excuses as well.  But they aren’t legit.  I’m not fundamentally a victim.  I’m more an aggressive idolater than I am a victim.  I want attention.  And I quite often want it more than God.

My idolatry is as old as the Garden.  Adam and Eve had God’s attention.  But they wanted more.  They didn’t want grace-centered attention.  They didn’t want Creature-creator attention.  They wanted God-like attention.  Fundamentally, they wanted to be God and receive glory as He does.  So they exchanged the glory of God for that which is created.  And in the process they exchanged the good attention of God for an inauthentic, shame-filled, mock attention--where they hide from God and only show him what they want Him to see. 

My heart cries out something similar, “Please, don’t ignore me!”  And it affects everything I do.  My humor is muddied by this idol.  If it will get me a laugh (attention) then holiness is secondary.  My preaching and writing is often driven by this idol.  That’s why I beat myself up after every sermon.  Or why I wait after every post to see who is reading.  This is one reason I study so hard.  Why I write so much, and sadly sometimes it is why I preach.

It’s painful to admit to myself that my mandate is often, “so live and so study and so serve and so preach and so write that Mike Leake be the only boast of this generation” when the mandate in my office reads, “so live and so study and so serve and so preach and so write that Jesus Christ, the crucified and risen God, be the only boast of this generation”.

And you know what happens when I’m not the only boast of this generation?  Do you know what happens when I feel ignored?  Anger, depression, shame, etc.  I sin on top of sin.

But it’s even worse when I do have attention.  My attention morphs into pride, misplaced joy, and idol worship.  And rightly enough it never satisfies (because only God can satisfy) so I hunger for more attention even in the midst of basking in it.  And then soon enough even when I get the attention I so passionately long for I get depressed because I know two things:  it’s not real and it won’t last. 
I’m not a helpless victim.  I’m an idolater and it has left me barren.

But hold on!  That is NOT fundamentally my identity.  I am NOT an idolater.  I have been redeemed by Jesus Christ.  This is part of the process of holiness.  He is ripping this barren and empty idol out of my life and out of my heart.

This holiness IS VERY PAINFUL!  I’m seeing my very identity being mauled, ripped, torn, mocked, and ultimately I’m watching the thing I have built my life around come crashing down.  That hurts.
But as He is ripping this foolish idolatry out of my heart He is satisfying my every longing with Himself.  I’m not sure what comes first.  Does He increase my joy in Him and therefore I let go of idols easier?  Or does He just rip out the idol and slowly in its place replace it with cruciform love?  I don’t really care.  All I know is that He is wounding me, injuring me, and tearing me into pieces but at the same time He is healing, restoring, and building me up in Christ.

So I’m making war.  Painful war on the flesh.  I’m making war to be satisfied in Jesus and Him alone and not to feed my idolatrous desire to have the attention of others.

This is the wonderful Christian life…

Turning Controversy into Church Ministry Review

“While some churches debate the issue of homosexuality and others completely avoid it, struggling people fall through the cracks”.  So writes, W.P. Campbell in his new book only 12.91 .  I received this book free from Zondervan to review. 

Campell’s hope is that this book will serve to help people stop debating and start ministering with compassion but without compromise.  My guess is that this book will gain many supporters but also many detractors.  Campbell is not afraid to disagree with those that have “Grace with Compromised Truth” nor those that have Truth with Compromised Grace”.  That typically doesn’t win friends. 

This book has a TON to commend it.  I love that Campbell is bold enough to be biblical and not politically correct.  He truly believes that the way to love homosexuals is through the truth of the gospel.  I also love that Campbell is not afraid to take on those that refuse to have compassion on the homosexual community.  I think both groups, and all those in between, have quite a bit they can learn from this book. 

There is a call in this book that we Southern Baptists (all Christians really) need to heed.  As we are looking at how to be a Great Commission people and reach the unreached peoples of the world, Campbell pointedly asks, “what about the unreached gay culture”?

This book is also divided in a very helpful way.  The first three chapters are an analysis of the current situation (I imagine this will have to be updated in future editions).  The second part is dedicated to dealing with the controversy around homosexual ministry.  The third part is dedicated to specific application.  Sometimes, I question the headings (i.e. The Wisdom, Insights from Psychology), but nonetheless it is a helpful outline. 

I also love the stories from real people that are engaged in real battle at the end of each chapter.  This book from beginning to end is practical and truly accomplishes what it intends—to provide a blueprint for real-life ministry to homosexuals. 

I am not sure that I agree with everything that is suggested, but it made me think about a ton of things.  One particular area that I felt was somewhat neglected is the area of church discipline.  How would a church that practices healthy church discipline interact with homosexuality.  It would be an interesting chapter to add. 

This book warmed my heart in areas and convicted me in others.  It is well written, easy to read, and full of information and practical tips.  I heartily recommend it to anyone that is struggling through this issue, or wants to know how to effectively minister to the homosexual community.  Buy it for only 12.91, or get it on Kindle for under 10 bucks . 

Rating 4.5 out of 5 stars

There is also a blog tour that you may find interesting, here. 

P.S. I think this book would be well served to have a different cover. 

Newton On the Contrite Heart

The LORD will happiness divine

On contrite hearts bestow:

Then tell me, gracious GOD, is mine

A contrite heart, or no?

 

I hear, but seem to hear in vain,

Insensible as steel;

If ought is felt, ’tis only pain,

To find I cannot feel.

 

I sometimes think myself inclined

To love thee, if I could;

But often feel another mind,

Averse to all that’s good.

 

My best desires are faint and few,

I fain would strive for more;

But when I cry, “My strength renew,”

Seem weaker than before.

 

Thy saints are comforted I know,

And love thy house of prayer;

I therefore go where others go,

But find no comfort there.

 

O make this heart rejoice, or ache;

Decide this doubt for me;

And if it be not broken, break,

And heal it, if it be.

--John Newton

Depression, Christians, and Medicine Part 2

Yesterday, I introduced this series on depression, Christians, and medicine.  Today I promised to discuss my presuppositions.  Obviously this discussion will not be exhaustive—especially because there are probably presuppositions that I am not even aware of.  But here is what I do know…

We are whole people, that have been wholly effected by the Fall, but will be totally redeemed, through the gospel (with it’s ripple effects)—which is absolutely sufficient, though God still uses means to make the gospel shine. 

Now let’s unpack that.

We are whole people

We are bio-psycho-social-spiritual beings.  That means we are physical beings—and our physical bodies has an impact on our pscyho-social-spiritual selves.  We are also complex rational beings made in the image of God.  Our minds (cognition) impact our bio-social-spiritual selves.  But we are also people in a community and this also impacts the whole of our person.  And perhaps more important or what unites all of these is that we are spiritual beings. 

Whenever something is out of whack it usually does not touch only one particular area.  Even something like cancer does not ravage only the biological aspect of a person.  It also has an impact on attitude, societal relations, and relationship with God to name a few. 

That have been wholly effected by the Fall

There is not one part of our being that has not been touched by the Fall.  It has impacted our minds, our hearts, our relationships, our bodies, our societies.  Everything.  Of course nothing is as bad as it possible could be.  God’s common grace keeps the world from being as wicked, broken, and destructed as it could be.  Nevertheless, every person has been wholly touched by the Fall.

But will be totally redeemed

Of course Christ has already begun the process of redeeming.  And people can live in redemption in a significant way.  Nor is this pleading for universalism.  Not every person impacted by the Fall will be redeemed.  But those whom God is redeeming will ultimately be redeemed—their whole persons wholly redeemed.  Not only will people be redeemed but society will be redeemed.  This means that regardless of where we stand on this issue of depression and medicine we should unite in hope that someday Christ will obliterate this brokenness. 

Through the gospel (with its ripple effects)

I say “with its ripple effects” for a reason.  Redemptive medicine is a ripple effect.  So is gospel community.  So is biblical counsel.  The gospel transforms everything.  The gospel is what enables us to live in redemption in a significant way in the here and now.  At the end of the day the gospel and all of its ripple effects is the cure for depression.  Whether that cure comes through medicine, counseling, or final healing in the New Jerusalem.  Christ purchased all of it.

Which is absolutely sufficient

Jesus does not need the help of science to redeem people.  Jesus does not need help from the regenerate or the unregenerate world to accomplish his purposes.  He can work through them.  He can use them to accomplish His purpose.  If the sufficiency of Christ ever is called into question, that is the moment when we need to pause and rethink our conclusions.  Acts 17 is still true—God does not NEED us to accomplish His purpose.

But God still uses means to make the gospel shine

Passive theology which refuses to accept means is more akin to Stoicism or Hyper-Calvinism than biblical theology.  God does not NEED us to accomplish His purpose but quite often we are the means that He chooses to use to accomplish what He is doing. 

He used a small group of followers to change the world.  There is no getting around the biblical fact that a fisherman named Peter, a former murderer named Paul, and a couple of loud-mouths named James and John were used by God to transform the world.  God uses means to make the gospel shine.  And he can use whatever means he wants to. 

This is my presupposition:  We are whole people, that have been wholly effected by the Fall, but will be totally redeemed, through the gospel (with it’s ripple effects)—which is absolutely sufficient, though God still uses means to make the gospel shine.  Question it if you must.  But know this is where I am coming from as we take our next steps…

Knowing the Creep’s Name

Driving to class this morning I was rocking out to 100.5 Gen-X (Hopefully, it’s okay that I listen to secular music on my way to seminary).  One of my favorite songs from my teenage years came on, Creep by Radiohead:

When you were here before
Couldn't look you in the eye
You're just like an angel
Your skin makes me cry

You float like a feather
In a beautiful world
I wish I was special
You're so very special

Chorus:

But I 'm a creep
I 'm a weirdo
What the hell am I doing here?
I don't belong here

I don't care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul

I want you to notice
When I'm not around
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

She's running out again
She's running out
She run, run, run run
Run

Whatever makes you happy
Whatever you want
You're so very special
I wish I was special

CHORUS

In the original version of this song the word “very” is replaced by the F-bomb.  This is an angry song about a young man that has a crush on a girl but he really does not feel like he is good enough for her.  At the end of the day he wishes that he was special like her.  “I want you to notice when I’m not around” is perhaps the most telling lyric.  This young man feels insignificant and unnoticed.  He would sacrifice his own identity just to be someone that would be liked. 

This song is the cry of my generation.  At least it is the cry of my own heart.  Growing up I always felt this way.  Maybe it was the necessary result of being a short kid with big ears and glasses.  Maybe it has deeper familial issues at the core.  I feel this song.  Check that, I felt this song. 

Actually my wife and I had a conversation about this last night.  Since my identity is being rocked to the core right now—rewind about 6 months and you will see why—we have these conversations often. 

For most of my life I have had a deep desire to be noticed.  Not necessarily in a “look at me, I’m the center of attention” type of way.  More so in a, “Hi, Mike I’m glad that you exist” type of way.  For years I killed parts of me that were “unacceptable”.  I became whatever people wanted me to be.  “Whatever makes you happy, whatever you want”. 

Thankfully, God is healing me.  Last night I wept after reflecting upon a different song.  It’s a song that has grabbed my attention before.  But last night I realized why it ministers to me so much:

I hope that this ministers to you.  I pray that the way the Lord is comforting me will be a comfort to you.  It’s my prayer that as the Lord continues to heal my brokenness that he may also use it. 

If you read through this and cannot relate then that’s awesome.  Please allow me to give you a ministry tip.  You don’t heal a “creep” by convincing him you think he’s special.  You heal a “creep” by letting him know that the One who lifts up the sun, hangs the stars, and holds the universe lovingly knows the number of his hairs.  That heals brokenness. 

Church Destruction 101

If you desired to destroy a local church how would you go about doing it? 

Obviously I am not talking about the building itself, nor do I mean destroy it as an outsider.  If you recently joined a relatively healthy local church, with the intention of destroying it within 3-5 years, what steps would you take to accomplish this task?

I asked this question on Facebook yesterday and received a healthy dose of response.  Which I think speaks volumes for the truth that there are numerous ways that a church could be destroyed.  As I have thought through this I have decided how I would go about destroying a local church.

I would spend the first year or so building good relationships with a diverse number of people.  It would be my goal to discover the things that drive this church.  I would become all things to all people so that by any means I may destroy the whole lot.  Their passions would become my passions.  Slowly but surely I would move my way into leadership positions such as teaching a Sunday school class. 

As I begin my new Sunday school class I will be certain to dig into some really tough topics to see what the Bible says about them. I will focus on minor things as if they were major things.  At this stage I will be certain to assume the gospel.  My goal here will be to get people’s eyes off of the gospel and the kingdom of God and on to certain “important issues”.
There are natural differences within every local expression of the body of Christ.  I would devote my time to exploiting these differences as if they were expressions of unfaithfulness rather than simply differences of opinion and personality.  When I spend one on one time with people I will do everything I can to convince them I am on their side in these “important issues”.  Hopefully this will begin to breed factionalism. 

After I sense that people are falling into certain camps (even if one of the camps is to be disinterested in the “issues”) I would become “really grieved” by the disunity in this church.  We would make a major issue about the disunity within our body, thus taking peoples eyes off Christ and firmly fixing them on one another.  Prayer meetings would be set up to pray for unity.  The teaching would be geared around unity.  At business meetings I would suggest solutions to solving our unity problem. 

After being there for about 3 years I should be a respected leader in the church.  My brokenness over the disunity would make it obvious that I care deeply about the church and the people.  At this point I could move into the final stage of my plan. 

I will donate a large amount of money anonymously and I will be certain not to designate it.  Now every opposing suggestion for using the money will be thought as “furthering disunity” and the church should split into several different groups. 

Hopefully, each faction will think themselves the godly ones.  This means that anyone that opposes them are the ungodly ones.  The decision has to be made on where to spend the money, and one group has to win this decision.  But, regardless of the decision one group will consider it ungodly.  Who wants to stay in an ungodly church anyways?

I’ll probably try to stay neutral and “godly” in this whole discussion.  I will make it known how broken hearted I am by this disunity.  When the decision comes down on where to spend the money, I will lead the charge of leaving this ungodly place.  Not even because of the decision but because of the way that everything was handled.  That should successfully take all of my “godly” followers with me and those on the losing side should leave too.  That which the winning side spent the money on will now become their makeshift savior and they will slowly fade away into idolatry.

That’s my rather long answer.  What is yours?

Oh, and by the way this does have a point…

Fig Leaf Underpants

There is a world of difference between the “covering of sin” in Psalm 32:1 and the “covering of sin” in Psalm 32:5 that David refused to engage in. 

Blessed is the one whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.  32:1

…I did not cover my iniquity…  32:5

Let’s face it, we are messed up.  We are broken people living in a broken world.  So, what are we going to do about it?  The way I see it there are two options.  Either we engage in Adam-like hiding or we hide ourselves in Jesus. 

When Adam disobeyed God in the Garden he experienced for the first time what you and I experience everyday—brokenness caused by rebellion.  His response was to knit together a few fig leaves and try to cover his shame.  He tried to fix his brokenness.  And because deep down he knew it was not enough he decided to hide in a bush just for good measure. 

The problem with Adam’s solution (and ours) is that it simply does not work.  Sin is not conquered in the darkness of hiding—it grows.  And because sin aims at destroying creation and dethroning the Creator it inevitably leads to brokenness.  You can’t fix the effects of rebellion by rebelling further.  Nothing we craft can fix our sin problem.  There is only one fix…

Hide ourselves in Jesus.  This is what David does in Psalm 32.  He realizes that he is broken because of rebellion.  He feels the weight of his sin and is resolved to not hide it.  He knows that his only refuge is to find mercy in the one whom he has sinned against.  Only God can heal the brokenness caused by our rebellion.  Only God has the power to conquer not only the guilt of sin but also its damning effects. 

So, when you sin today don’t sew fig leaf underpants—run naked to Jesus.  (Hmmm, is that okay to say?)

T4G Reflections: My Broken Prayer, All I Have is Christ

I forget who said it.  Honestly, I forget what they said.  All I remember is asking myself asking one question. What am I unwilling to lose?  Quickly rising up in my soul was the answer: my life.  Of course that means a ton of different things.  It means I have had a death grip on trying to attain a certain outcome for my life.  It means I have foolish, yet tight fisted, reign on what I am willing to do and not do in my walk with Christ.  I struggle with pride, self-righteousness, and just outright complacency. 

All of this was simmering in my heart for a day.  Wednesday evening during the first song Bob Kauflin said, “all I have is Christ” in one of his songs.  This jolted my heart.  I had trouble focusing on the next couple of songs because I let (rather was prodded to let) these words toss around in my soul.  Then he played this song:

That video was from a NA Conference not T4G.  But the lyrics are the same. 

Then John Piper preached essentially what this song meant.  You can watch the sermon if you like, but I will attempt to summarize.  Piper’s text was Luke 18.  He pointed out the self-righteousness of the Pharisee.  It was not that he was trusting in his own works and merits.  The Pharisee was trusting in a God wrought righteousness in his own life.  The problem, said Piper, is that he was not trusting on Christ—the tax collector was.  He brought out Philippians 3 and Paul essentially was the Pharisee and now he is the tax collector.  Piper further gave the example of the Rich Young Ruler—one thing he lacked: let go of money, let it fall to the poor, and cling to Christ.  The one thing he lacked was Christ.  In other words the song of the believer truly is All I Have is Christ.  Watch the Piper video if you want, but please do not neglect to read my closing comments:

T4G 2010 -- Session 6 -- John Piper from Together for the Gospel (T4G) on Vimeo.

God used this song and this sermon to renew a spark of the gospel in my heart.  During this time I found myself praying that the Lord would break me.  Break me of every vestige of self-righteousness that I may cling to Christ alone.  Break me of a foolishness that wants to cling to my life. 

If you follow this blog, or are my friend and read this, remind me in a couple of months when I’m “broken” about this prayer and where my brokenness stems from.  Lord make me a gospel man!