A couple years ago I was dealing with a bout of deep discouragement. Actually that’s the sanitized wording for it. The more accurate description would be “wounded pride”. I had been working my tail off in blogging and writing and I was still barely getting traffic.
I whined to my wife. “I don’t think anybody is even reading my stuff. Is it even worth my time and effort?”
Those are good questions to ask. But my wife knows me and she knows my passion for writing. She knew that this was not a reasoned assessment of whether or not my time was being wasted on writing. She was able to see through the facade and I believe hear the hellish voice of pride.
Her response was not both comforting and painful at the same moment:
“The most important Person in the universe reads your blog every day”.
With this one sentence she confronted my pride and begged my soul to ask a very shaping question; would the audience of Yahweh be enough? Am I writing for the Lord’s fame or am I writing to try to establish my own?
If I’m writing to establish my own fame then I get wounded whenever I write an article that disappears into the ether. If I am writing for the Lord’s fame then I am able to rest in His sovereign goodness and hope that when He read my article it was pleasing in His sight. His smile is enough.
For those feeling the allure of fame the smile of God seems like a second place prize. Blog traffic is similar to money. How much blog traffic do you need? Just as with money for those battling greed, the answer is always, “More!”
At this point I want to encourage those like myself that are laboring for a smaller audience. But the truth is that no matter how “famous” your blog is you’re never satisfied unless you are satisfied in the Lord. Even if you receive 2 million hits per day the most important “visitor” to your blog is the Lord Jesus. My wife’s counsel is for all of us, no matter where we land on the scale of fame. Do you pursue His fame or your own? Do you rest in His smile or are you always craving more?
I appreciate my wife’s gentle correction on that day. I still battle resting in the Lord’s smile, but at least my eyes are open now to the fight that needs to take place every day.