How to Put Words to Your Shame

Ed Welch in his book, Shame Interrupted, gives a few helpful questions to ask to try to put words to a shameful event. 

What happened?

How do you still carry it with you?

• How do you feel like an outcast?
• How do you feel exposed?
• How do you feel dirty?
• How do you feel worthless, like nothing?
• How have you tried to manage these experiences in the past?
• Has Jesus ever been part of how you managed shame?

How does your shame affect your relationships with other people?

• Whom do you avoid?
• How do you cover up?
• How do you try to make up for being so bad?  For example, do you say yes to everyone, like a slave who is never good enough?  Do you avoid the Lord as a way to say, “I’m not good enough to come to you yet”? 

How does your shame affect your relationship with God?

• Is anger mixed with your sense of unworthiness?

I have found these probing questions very helpful on the path to finding healing for some of the deep seated shame that I feel in my own life.  Perhaps you will find them helpful too.  I will be reviewing Welch’s book later today.  It is one that you ought to purchase.