I really appreciate Ed Welch and his ministry. One book that has shaped me profoundly is his book called Running Scared. He has another book on depression that I really want to read sometime soon. Recently Welch shared a little of his wisdom on depression and it’s odd filter:
God says, “I love you.”
You hear, “God loves some people but he could never love me.”
Notice that you didn’t hear, “I don’t love you.” That would be your inner filter doing its usual electronic voodoo and reversing any blessing. With this one, you don’t even feel worthy to hear anything personal from the Lord. So what came out the other side was your own voice, not God’s!
Do you think that, maybe, your wiring is completely messed up and you aren’t hearing God accurately?
“I love you,” becomes “God could never love me.” If someone else did that you would tell her she was crazy. But, somehow, for you, it makes perfect sense.
Is it possible that you are mis-hearing?
How convenient it would be if you could simply say, “Oh, now I get it. It was just a little misunderstanding. God, thank you for clearing that one up. I feel much better now. Now I know that you love me.” But life doesn’t work that way. Instead, against all the evidence, such as the sacrificial death of Jesus on your behalf, and his willingness to tell you, over and over, that he loves you, you stick with what you think you heard, as if the problem was hard-wired.
But we are people who believe that the Spirit has been given and he is much more powerful than we think. He can even open our ears so we can hear, even ears that are mis-wired.
The Spirit does his work, in part, by giving you less confidence in the distortions you believe.
The entire article is well worth reading.